Forgetting & Forgiving

Chapter 4

"I'm sorry," I told my mom as we were still fighting about me skipping the first day.

"Johnnie, you can't hide forever," She said.

"Just imagine, you were living to make someone happy, and they don't need you anymore. Hell they want nothing to do with you," I said, I was trying to be good with my words and not blurring out something I didn't mean. I got up and left the house, just to breathe. Most parents would ground you for walking out, but I think my mom was proud of me. I walked down till I was to Alex's house. I feel like talking to girls was easier than guys, as they understood love more. I walked up to the door and knocked lightly part of me hoping she wouldn't hear. Of course in a matter of seconds the door opened, showing I'm guessing Alex's mom with a weird look on her face. I mean if I was her I would be too, I was a weird skinny kid on your doorstep.

"Alex?" She asked before Alex was at the door.

"Could we take a walk?" I asked quietly, she nodded before slipping her shoes and walking out.

"Why weren't at school?" She asked.

"Kyle got a girlfriend and they were kissing and I scared so I called Shannon and," I was cut off.

"Whoa, calm down you'll be okay," She said as I realized I was panicking.

"Sorry, but I'm so upset," I sighed, and wipes the tears that had formed as we were walking.

"You will always have us, and I know nobody could replace what you and Kyle had," Alex said I nodded as my eyes were filled with tears now.

"It feels like it never going to get better," I sighed.

"You guys also have to talk it out, things don't solve without the both of you in on this," Alex said. I really never thought of that as that, I mean I'll still wishing he would come crawling back.

"Thanks, but I have to go," I said. "I have to somewhat fix this," I said with a tint of hope on my voice. I ran back to Kyle's and knocked.

"Hello?" He asked answering the door.

"I want to make this right," I said without even greeting him.

"Okay, come in," He said as I slowly walked in as if my feet were all of a sudden made of concrete. I haven't thought this far.

"Umm....well, I just," I studdered off, wiping tear beofre I realized they fell.

"It's okay, just talk," Kyle said encouraging me, but if felt as if he just wanted me out and here I am being a nervous wreck.

"I want to be friends again," I said out shaky.

"Yeah, umm okay," Kyle said, I could tell he was weirded out by me.

"Sorry," I muttered without realizing till he spoke,

"It's fine, I'm just so confused."

"How is that," I asked looking into the eyes I missed so much.

"You are hot, then cold, like I try to talk to you then you leave," Kyle explained. I nodded, I felt like I didn't want to be there anymore, this plan was a total fail.

"I'm sorry, it just hurts," I whispered.

"What hurts?" Kyle asked, as he stared at his nails.

"Everything, I'm just so lost and numb," I said wiping the tears on my face. I felt his arms move around me. It felt so good to be in the arms I missed, but I was crying crazily into his shirt.

"Shh, its okay, we are going to working through this," He told me and this time I really believed him.

Hey, just to let you know I'm taking a break, probably not that long but I have been so stressed and I'm going back to my depressing ways.... I hope you can understand and thanks for reading so far... ~Nicole