♤ [1] An Everlasting Death - The Vampire Diaries

ı 01 ı The Awakening

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"I know I'm starving but I'll fill my hunger. I'll come alive and bring the thunder"

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I'VE ALWAYS wondered what death feels like. What it feels like to witness yourself crumbling, shutting down as you lay there helplessly. What it feels like to have your last breath escape your body knowing there's no going back.

But when you have your last breath, do you know it's your last breath? Do you know that you may never open your eyes again? Or is it like a peaceful sleep that lasts forever as if in a slumber similar to that of an enchanted princess?

I've asked myself these questions at least ten times over and over, wondering the same thing; am I dead?

I would've hoped that I would know what death feels like, but all I feel now is nothing. All I see is nothing. All I hear, taste, and smell is nothing. All I am left with are these thoughts that I've been rehearsing for as long as I can remember. My thoughts are on an endless track, circling around my mind and waiting for something to click into place.

I would've thought that death would be more simple, like a candle wick burning out its light, or a gun running out of bullets. Not confusion of whether I was dead, alive, or stuck in the middle, but just gone; deceased as in no going back.

I recall from memories of my childhood, all the fantasy stories my mother would tell me, the ones that would ease my conscious and lighten my dreams. In all those stories a princess had a prince to wake her, a prince to save her. It was rather gross.

Me? Well I do not have a prince that I remember of- not that I would want one- but I remember pieces of family. Two brothers that loved me, an abusive father, and deceased mother. I remember my brother's lover Katherine, and another man whose name has slipped my mind. Whenever I think of this man, my heart flutters and warms, making me feel alive, giving me another reason to believe I am not dead.

Besides the man that I do not remember, the only other thing that makes my heart flutter is the thought of blood. Blood crosses my mind now and then, and sometimes I feel that if I think hard enough about it, my eyes will open.

It strains my mind, like squeezing a sponge to release memories to try and remember where I am, if I'm dead and who this mystery man is. I remember he helped me after I became a vampire, right after Katherine turned me.

There's not much I remember about being turned. It's all very grey, my memory blurred. I can only remember bits and pieces. I remember following Katherine out in the middle of the night, and I remember her stabbing me in the throat.

I never liked Katherine Pierce. Everything about her was so fake. The way she charmed my brothers and made their hearts melt was a reason in itself for me to hate her.

After she turned me I thought my life was over. Until I met him.

Him with the ruffled brown hair, the blue hazel eyes and the perfectly structured face. He took away the confusion, and was right beside me when I woke up. He explained everything and helped me. Together we stayed with each other for a week while he taught me about being a vampire. He was so kind to me and loyal. I feel as if I've betrayed him by not remembering his name. For now I will call him Handsome Face, in hopes of remembering anything else.

Every time I picture his face, his name screams at me, but I never hear it. It's as if my memory of him has been erased from my mind, adding to the confusion of this whole situation. Although, my whole situation has never been very clear.

All I remember is going to help my brothers one night, leaving Handsome Face behind after our week together. I remember him telling me the council planned on having a vampire round up one night, and for some reason I had a feeling Katherine was going to betray my brothers.

So despite what Handsome Face instructed me to do, I went after my brothers only to be caught by the council myself and taken somewhere.

The image of where I was taken is blurry as a woven bag was placed over my head the whole time, as I imagine it is now.

The last noise I can remember is the sound of horseshoes against gravel as they escorted me somewhere, and the screams of all the other vampires they had caught. After they placed me somewhere, I remember my best friend Emily Bennett talking to me, preforming some sort of unknown spell before she said her last words: "Stay strong, Blair Salvatore. You won't be in here forever" her words echoed through my mind.

For the thirty seconds the bag was off my head during the time she was preforming the spell, I managed to get a look around, forever regretting it as that is the only image still fresh in my memory.

The image of familiar vampires like Pearl and Fredrick as they struggled against the vervain in their bodies and the chains they were bound to. The image of fire as the council lit torches, and threw them at the building. The screams as everyone, including me, crying for help only to be drowned out by the intense heat.

Everything had happened so fast, but I couldn't see anything once the bag was placed back on my head. The only thing I could feel was the urge for blood as it took over my body. I had never wanted something so bad. I felt myself turning into another person, someone who would've killed for blood.

But soon after that feeling died out too, leaving me with these thoughts.

I don't know what happens when a vampire doesn't get blood. It was the one thing Handsome Face had forgotten to tell me the week before I was put in here. I can only imagine how weak everyone was, and it scares me to think there are people like me sitting in here, or maybe they had died. Maybe I too am dead. Maybe I died in the fire.

Maybe I'm never going to see my brothers again. I never did get the chance to warn them of Katherine before the council took me. They could be long dead by now, or Katherine could've turned them. Or worse, they could be in here with me.

All these thoughts I have thought of over and over, and still I cannot figure it out. It's an unsolved mystery, and I've had an eternity to solve it. That officially makes me the world's worst detective, although it doesn't exactly help when parts of my memory are gone; almost as if they were erased.

Just then, out of the blue, I hear something.

I hear a voice.

Either I have gone completely insane, or my mind has awakened out of its repetitive train of thoughts as I recognize that voice.

That voice belongs to Damon Salvatore.

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[completed & edited: 08/23/17]