Two Faced Europe

Chapter 8; Raining Tears

Amani rubbed over her arms, tights, hips, face and everything else she could reach through the fabric of her clothes. The spots she was rubbing became red but still she didn't stop. The feeling she had was unbearable, she felt dirty and most of all used. Tears began to flow down while she watched the passing cars on the highway. She looked at them but couldn't see them, her mind kept wondering off to the night before. She shook her head viciously, trying to get rid of the thoughts and the feeling.

Amani walked towards the gas station, her head was feeling like someone was pounding on it with a hammer and she felt the lack of sleep. With swollen, red eyes Amani looked around for something that could make her feel better. She bought a six pack of red bulls, cigarettes and some candy. Her precious money disappeared into the register. At this moment she couldn't care less, she wanted to feel better, get rid of the nightmare she was currently living in.

Approximately two weeks ago she made the HelpX page at the library, she remembered how happy she was when she received a mail from a family who wanted some help around the house. The day after that she arrived at their place. They lived in a small castle like building with a garden. In the living room they had a gorgeous fireplace and the whole house looked quite expensive. She helped with carrying wood, she even learned how to drive on a tractor. Amani's time at their family was wonderful, she didn't even work for four hours each day, usually two and that was it. After ten days they found two German guys who could do the heavy labor which she couldn't.

A man, Zoran, called her and she decided to help him with moving. She went to him and... Amani shook her head.

"No... nonononono..." Amani kept shaking her head, not stopping, trying to get rid of the thoughts, the movements made her headache even worse. For a moment her father and mother popped into her head. She wanted to go home, to the time that both her parents were still alive, the time Amani was happy. Her mother changed into Calinda who was laughing a devilish laugh and ripping Amani's skin off saying she was defiled and she couldn't use her anymore. Amani threw herself over the seat of her bike and tried to calm down a bit when she felt someone tapping on her back. The muscles in her body tensed up and fear coursed through her body, for a split second she was thinking about running. Instead she forced herself to turn around and face the unknown person behind her.

"Gaat het goed?" Amani looked at the little girl behind her, she was happy it wasn't Zoran or a guy in general. She wouldn't be able to handle that right now.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak Dutch." Amani replied, the girl looked at her and smiled.

"I can speak English. I asked you if you are ok." Amani furrowed her eyebrows, for a little girl she was quite good at it.

"I had a bad day and I'm a little sad about it. Where did you learn English so well?" Amani couldn't contain her curiosity and the little girl was a good distraction for her wounded and wondering mind.

"Gaming works, I played Habbo for a while and they speak English. It's fun, I can speak it quite good now." Amani nodded at the little girl in front of her.

"I have never played so many games, my dad thought it would be bad for me."

"You're big now, you can play them if you like." A small smile was lighting up Amani's face and the little girl smiled back.

"You're right."

A man came to the two talking girls. Amani's muscles started to tense up once again. The man looked at the girl in front of her, he told her something in Dutch and she replied. Amani couldn't understand the conversation but it sounded scary to her, not knowing what people said, it scared her and she could feel it even in her bones. The man took the little girls hand and before she walked away with him, she looked back.

"I hope you're feeling better, I need to go to grandma and granddad." With a lot of effort Amani lifted up her arm and waved at her while saying goodbye.

She felt a little better after talking to the girl and lit up one of her newly bought cigarettes, one can of red bull was opened as well. Amani enjoyed the energy the drink gave her and the cigarette made her calm down a bit more. The thoughts about the last night were pushed to the back and she planned where to go from here on. At the moment she's in Eindhoven in The Netherlands. She decided to head to Amsterdam. Amani put the drinks and candy inside the bag on the bike and her cigarettes in a pocket and went towards Amsterdam.

Approximately two hours later she arrived in the city. A spider web of water coursed through the city and she was looking for a place to stay. In the end she found a hostel not too far from the center. Amani took her bag from the bike and walked inside. She asked for a girls only room and was put in a room with 5 others. The elevator brought her up and she opened up the door to walk inside. There was a girl sitting on a bed watching her phone and Amani dropped her bag next to one of the beds and dropped herself on top of it. With a groan she curled up, on top of the sheets.

"Are you alright?" The a girl said.

"Hmmm"

"Where are you from?" Amani turned on the sheets to look at her. Wasn't it not obvious she didn't want to talk?

"Spain"

"That's amazing! I still have to go there! I would love to go to Barcelona, have you ever been there?"

"Yes"

"You're so lucky! I wish I could see the beauty of the city!" The girl was cheerful and it collided with Amani's sour mood. Amani wished she had some music to shut the girl out.

"Do you mind if I sleep a bit? I had a really rough night." The girl looked like being slapped into her face and she nodded.

"Sorry for disturbing you." Amani felt bad about being so rude while she was trying to be nice.

"I'm sorry... I... My name is Amani." The girls face instantly lit up.

"Adaline, nice to meet you. Would you like to share what happened?"

"Why do you think something happened?" Amani asked curiously.

"Because of your gloomy mood off course."

"Thank you." Amani replied bitterly, her tone changed when she said: "I don't think I'm capable of telling it yet." Adaline's expression changed, her cheerful smile was melting away and she looked at Amani with sorrow in her eyes.

"Was it that bad?"

"For me it was, I will tell you about it if I'm ready for it ok?" Adaline nodded and went back to tapping on her phone.

"Sleep well."

"Thanks" Amani turned back around and covered herself with the blankets not even thinking about changing into a pajama. Her mind went back to the things the night before and although she couldn't talk about it she cried over it. Tears dripped over her cheeks and with a scarred heart she fell asleep.