What Remains (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 19

5 years ago

1 day after

Josh had stayed in his bed the entire morning. Yesterday, he had spent the rest of the day with Alyssa after Carter left. She comforted him, but it still wasn't enough. He was going to miss Carter so much. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be happy or sad that he finally got to tell Carter about his true feelings on the day that he moved away.

It had always been Carter. From the day they met, Josh knew that that boy was going to be special to him. He had just never expected that he'd actually fall in love with him. When he was going through difficult times, Carter was there for him, and never failed to make him happy again and to make him forget about everything.

He had already known for a long time that he wasn't into girls. He even wasn't sure what gave it away. He just always knew. It was something that had always been there, even though he knew it shouldn't. And Carter was the one who made him really realize that. The moment he realized he was in love with Carter, was the moment he realized that he'd never be able to fall in love with girls.

Josh looked at the glass butterfly figurine that was safely placed on his nightstand. Looking at it, he saw Carter's face again when he had given it to him. Even though it wasn't much, it did help.

He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and knew that it was his father, wondering how much alcohol he had drank now. Josh sat up when his father entered the room and as always, his hair was messy and his beard unshaven.

"Hey Joshua," Mr. Marson said. "Get out of bed. You've been in there for long enough."

Josh gave a sigh and sat up in his bed. His father knew about Carter having left, though still expected him to get out of bed in the morning. He looked at his father walking down the hall. He had been wanting to tell him about his secret for a long time now, but had always been too afraid of how he would react to it. Though now that Carter had left, he needed someone. He wanted to be able to talk about it with someone. He was his father after all, and wanted him to know.

"Dad," Josh called out. "Can you come here for a second? There's something I need to tell you," he said.

Mr. Marson turned to look at his son before he walked back to his room. "Yeah?" he asked. "What is it?"

Josh looked up at his father. It was terrifying to tell him, but he really wanted him to know. He was the only family he had left, after all.

"There's something that I have noticed for a while now," Josh started. He took a deep breath and looked at the flooring of his bedroom. "I'm... gay, dad. And I'm in love with Carter."

It felt good to have said it. Really good. He felt proud at himself for saying it and hoped that his father thought the same. His eyes flickered up to see what his father had to say, but as soon as he looked up, his father's palm hit Josh's cheek and he was shot against the mattress of his bed.

His eyes were wide from the unexpected blow and he sat up to see his father rushing towards him with the most angry and terrifying expression he had ever seen.

"What the fuck did you just say?!" Mr. Marson yelled. "My son is not a fag! Come here!"

Josh crawled back on his bed in fear when his father tried to grab his wrists. "Dad! Stop it!" he whimpered. He got thrown off the bed and hit the flooring with his shoulder, letting out a painful groan at the impact. "Dad!"

"How fucking dare you say such things to me! You are not a fag, you hear me?!" A shoe found it's way in Josh's stomach and all the air got kicked out of his lungs, not being able to produce a single sound. Mr. Marson sat down on his knees and punched his son on his cheek, causing a Josh to wail.