We Can Sleep Now

Chapter 23

That night I lay awake my head and heart a buzz.

The kiss didn't feel wrong, but it wasn't right.

I felt a sense of regret and guilt too, doesn't that mean I convicted myself?
So it was wrong and you cheated.

I didn't really cheat, but then again if Daryl kissed another girl I'd count that as cheatin.

Another part of me longed for Max, or no, just the feelins he gave me.

In absence of Daryl.

What if Daryl had seen the kiss, or passed Max on the stairs and Max had spilled.

I don't know why but I stood up, throwin the sheets back.

Running my hands through my hair I jumped into my desk chair, and heavily pushing around a pen as I wrote.

The girl in the corner
Knows the story about the first day we met
She keeps asking, why aren't you together yet?

Unsure of what I was think as the pen whirled across the page, I let my head relax.

A fuckin zombie apocalypse and I was worried about love.

Slowly I crawled back into bed, tryin really hard not to think about anything, curlin up into a ball.

I still lay awake at 2:15am my eyes slidin shut then painfully prickin apart.

Footsteps waltzed outside my door as someone passed my door to go to the bathroom.

My bare feet pattered to the door as I listened to the bathroom knob click.

Hopin it would be Daryl.

Peekin out into the hallway I saw Rick lazily rub his eyes, and scratching his bare chest.

Then we made eye contact, through the smallest crack in my door.

He let's out a long breath and pushes my door open, scanning the inside of my room like an over protective brother searchin for my boyfriend.

"You should sleep." He gruffs, his throat scratchy.

I nod, to my surprise he pulls my into a hug.
No, no, no.

His fingers entwine with my hair as he holds my head to his chest.

But he retreats, thankfully, soon enough to pass for a little over friendly. But that happens.

"You need to sleep." Then he pats my shoulder and goes back into his bedroom.
Why is it always night time when people talk to me?

I ask myself a bit confused before crawlin into bed.

Thankfully I was pulled into a deep slumber.

°°°°°°

My eyes shoot open and I quickly turn to the clock, knowin its to bright to be morning and I must have over slept.

Thankfully its only ten.

I flop back onto my mattress. Thinking about the dream I was havin.

Before every event that had occurred yesterday flooded back to me.

All the damn kisses.

"Beth? You decent?" Daryl asks, softly knocking on the door.

"Yeah." I sigh, hopin I won't feel to guilty.

But when he steps into the room and I see his beautiful face and elegant steps, I dread today's conversation.

Its odd, but because Daryl is a hunter, he is elegant. Always whispin around the floors with out a sound.

"You look awful." I bluntly say, once noticing the deep lines under his eyes.

"Couldn't sleep, every time I fell asleep I had dreams or memories." He fumbled for the right words, "you were always in them."

His eyes set on mine and I am so joyful, my heart swells.

"Oh." I say, tryin to keep hold of his eyes for as long as I can manage.

"Yeah. We were here," uncomfortably he looks around the room, shiftin his weight from his side to side.

"And we had sex." The sentence sounds so wrong commin out of his mouth.

Like the Daryl I knew would have tried to say it gently, I choke down a laugh at that.

I nod, giggling a bit, relived when a grin lays upon his lips.

"But know what the worst part was?" He asks, sittin on the bed, " I was happy, and all those emotions came back to me in my head, like I was there." He says it quickly, I get the sense that he's a bit embarrassed.

"So it was bad emotions?" I ask confused a bit.

"No," he rubs his chin, "the best."

I smile, my body relaxin at the words.

"But I don't know, if I will ever be able to experience that again. Beth I know I loved you. I can feel it. Its a mess in here," he points to his head, "but I can see that I loved you clearly. I'm jus' workin on why is all."

I nod in understandin shiftin my weight closer to him, holdin his stare.

"I can show you, maybe you'll remember." I lean forward closin my eyes and melt onto his lips, feelin his mouth work against mine.

His kiss goes from sweet and smooth to hungry diserable kisses.

His arms go around my shoulders as he holds me closer and I am so caught uo in the moment I forget where I am.

All that matters is that I'm kissin Daryl and he's kissin me back.

I don't want to break apart, I want to keep goin, to remove our clothes and explore each other once more.

But his arms pull me back, out of breath.

"We can't. I want too. But we can't." He says in my ear seductively.

Then he pulls back completely and stands up like it was an ordinary day.

"Do you remember now?" I ask, his lips press together in a thin line. Scared to tell me that no, he doesn't remember why he loves me.

So instead he shakes his head and shrugs.

"We'll have to keep talkin." He smiles and the ground and heads out the door.

Leaving me bewildered in his tracks.

I need to leave Max, I need to commit to Daryl.

So today I would go see him and tell him that I do indeed have a boyfriend.