You Are My Heartbreaker

Chapter 33

I mean passion was certainly there. But love...

I don't know..

Now I just feel like a stupid teenage girl that was pressured into this. Although, there is no denial that I still had lingering feelings for him. And it was hard to ignore when I felt each thrust shove into me.

"G-od," I moaned, at the penetration was thriving inside of me. It was thrilling yet painful desire. I could sense my nails daggering into his back as I duck my head into the crook of his neck.

He was my first. 3 years really made a difference.

Sorry, that was so not romantic. But it's true.

At the end of our sex or making love session, I don't know why but I was blushing all shades of red in embarrassment to be naked in front of Nick. Somebody I knew all my life--I guess I could call him my ex if our relationship had counted...?

He left a trail of kisses from shoulder blade up my neck and finally turning me around to kiss my lips. I gave in and returned the favor. It was gross how we were both sweaty and for God sake, in my old bed that I had since 14... Gross.

He pulled away slowly and sort of just gazing at each other, inevitably embracing one another's gazes. There was zero awkwardness. Just a peaceful silence. When I blinked for a long moment, he smiled and moved forward kissing my lips then parting.

"Selena, I lo--"

"I need to shower!" I interrupted quickly as I picked up the bed sheets and wrapping it around me like a toga and ran into the bathroom down the hall where were first made out. On my way in I grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom.

I don't know how long I stayed in the shower but I stayed in there for probably an hour. I wasn't even applying soap on myself. I was literally sitting in a bathtub of bubbles as I stared at the vanilla toned wall.

I didn't want to him finish that sentence. I knew what that moron would say. And of course like an idiot, I ran off. I'm not scared of the three words, I'm scared that the words came from him. It really makes a difference.

I never felt certainty when I'm with him. Not when I was 16 and not now either.

Wow.

I'm a slut.

Nick just cheated on Olivia with me. I should have listened to my mind and not my heart. Obviously my heart doesn't know morality. He has a girlfriend that is going to be his fucking fiancee in probably a few months or weeks, and what the hell am I doing here?

That girl is nothing but a sweet heart. A saint! And I'm what? I completely ruined the relationship of a perfect couple. I ruined Olivia's life. She doesn't deserve this...

Suddenly a mount full of tears flooded the bathtub as I felt myself sobbing silently. I am really not the type to cry like this. But I felt disgusting at this point. I tried not to make a sound, but I've been gone for a while and I heard Nick's footsteps parade down the hall.

"Sel? Are you okay?" he knocked.

I tried to even out my breathing before I spoke, "Y-yea, go-od," it came out worst than I expected. My voice completely cracked. And that's when he pushed the door open, immediately coming over to me.

He brushed my tears off the surface of my cheeks, but it only made me sob more, "Babe what's wrong?"

"I-I thought I could do t-this but I-I can't," I looked him in the eye as more tears fell through, "I-it's so stupid..."

"Shh..." he hushed, not caring how I'm soaked in bath water, he wrapped me in his arms as I continuously sobbed into the crook of his neck, "Tell me what's bothering you..."

"T-this, how could w-we do this to O-Olivia? S-somebody that matter so much to y-you?" I pressed myself off his shoulders as my eyes wander his to see his respond. It looked like he caught on when his arms started to loosen from me.

He moved away from the bathtub and disappeared out the bathroom. In a minute he was back with my bathrobe, he helped me out and wrapped the towel around me before embracing the bath robe over me. He carried me back to my bedroom.

The bedsheets were changed this time. And a new blanket was recovered.

He lay me down and covered me with the blankets, "I'll be right back." He picked up his phone from the nightstand and walked out.

Didn't take long before he came back. It gave me time to catch a breath and stop sobbing. I was haggard and dishevelled from all the crying that I was actually getting tired. He joined me on the bed, wrapping his arm around me.

"Sleep it off," he pecked my forehead waiting for me to roll into his warm body.