When Fire Collides With Ice// Zayn vs Harry

Chapter Five-A Little Too Much

"She would not show that she was afraid,
But being and feeling alone was too much to face,
Though everyone said that she was so strong,
What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on"

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*Trigger Warning*
Strongly recommended to not continue if you have trouble with graphic scenes.

With trembling fingers I pulled my sleeves up, I got sad with myself that I am going to break the promise I did to myself once again and that I'm giving into my craving. I am disgusted with myself that I am no longer that person my mother always wanted me to be, a person just like my dad. My dad, he was everything and everywhere in my mind but nowhere in my life. I don't know if I should hate him or not. He was a mystery that I never get to resolve. Okay now focus Veronica focus! I scolded myself.

While taking a one more glance at my pale white hand, I positioned the blade over my wrist, the previous scars had disappeared now, and they always did. Involuntarily I smiled at my magical healing capabilities. I was just about to swipe it over my smooth white skin and rip the flesh of my wrist open but something stopped me. It was a voice, a distant faint voice calling my name ever so softly, I was troubled. I've heard this voice I told myself. It seemed so familiar I just can't pin point it but I've heard it I assured myself, but all of a sudden it stopped.

I knew what I just heard was not a trick of my mind. I have not lost my mind, yet I must add, I still know the difference between reality and my thoughts; can't say anything about my nightmares though because they are way more than real.

But what should I do now? I asked no one but myself though I knew the answer very well. Remember what I said about losing my mind? Well I think it's going to be a bit doubtful after what I am going to do next.

I once again continued what I was doing earlier, this time without thinking or sparing a micro second I swiped the blade against my soft skin making it no longer smooth. Tiny red drops emerged through the puckered line of my skin. I felt the pain taking over my dark thoughts, satisfying me and my loneliness, it assured that I was not alone, it ensured to help me out always whenever I was in need. And here we are one again, I smiled thought the pain. I could now feel the stream of blood running down to my palm it was warm and mine. I again positioned the blade over my skin to cause yet another scar, well not exactly a scar because I know it's going to disappear like the others and the disappearing of these scars save me from a lot of explaining.

I pressed the blade one again but before I could do further I heard someone calling on to me this time the voice was clearer. I knew it, I knew it that I am going to hear that voice once again, I made me happy kind of; because nothing makes me happy anymore. But I guess that was a very bad way to get happy. But again I am Veronica Elizabeth Michael. Worthless, weird, good for nothing, broken, and a freak now. So don't expect normal things from me. The voice softly whispered. It was a female's voice.

"Don't hurt yourself, dear." I was startled, because this person knows what I am doing at this moment, so she must be watching me right now.

The thought made me uneasy because I very well know that I am all alone right now. The door is locked and I am in my room and in the bathroom. If it is so this person is definitely related to that brown eyed guy, my heart was saying that to me and I never doubt my heart as long as my mind confirm and right now my thoughts were banging my mind about that these two persons are co-related.