Amnesiacs (Russia x Reader Angst!fic) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 3

Tears, blood and screams were the only things that Ivan remembered from the accident, however not even the face of the one that those call (Y/F/N) came to mind. How did she look like? How was she like? None of that even seemed to come to the silver-haired Russian. All that he knew was, that she was supposed to be a very important part to his life. The more he tried to remember the more pain he felt. 

"Mr. Braginski, we'll bring you your lunch shortly. In the meantime, please try to calm yourself, we understand it is hard," the nurse said, trying to comfort the sobbing mess Ivan was. With bloodshot eyes, he turned to the nurse and with trembling lips he muttered, "Okay," before turning to the window, taking in deep breaths in all attempt to calm his unstable feelings. Perhaps he shouldn't dwell on it for the mean time, but, he really did want to know, just what was he supposed to do? Nothing? Just wait for 5 whole days to pass before being able to actually try to relive his forgotten memories? Was that really all he could do without suffering from his cursed state of mind?  That can't be all he can do, there had to be something. Before the nurse disappeared out the door, he spoke in a feeble voice.

"I would like to go out for some fresh air please..." he said, not looking up at the nurse. The nurse blinked and nodded.
"Of course Mr. Braginski, should we get one of our medical staff to accompany you?" she asked. The only thing he could manage was a nod and the nurse then went out to get someone to escort the patient out to the hospital gardens. 

A few moments later and a male nurse was pushing him on a wheelchair, since he had forgotten how to walk after 6 months of being in a coma. The view of greenery really did help him to relax considerably, before he knew it, he had fallen asleep and the nurse had brought him back to his ward. It was understandable after all, he had been in a coma for 6 months after suffering from severe brain damage. It was a miracle he had been able to speak and function relatively somewhat normally. 

A couple hours later, Ivan awoke, his violet eyes scanning the hospital room, forgetting that he had fallen asleep. After staring at the ceiling for what seemed like numerous hours, he remembered that he was in the hospital and he awoken from a 6 month coma just today and also was suffering from a severe case of amnesia. He looked down in disappointment, nothing occurred to him in his dreams, nothing at all. The only he remembered was a blank cloud of plain darkness, maybe it was because he had amnesia that he couldn't dream because of his lack of memories. He relaxed his shoulders and fumbled around, finding a notepad by the bedside table and a pen. Fumbling to hold the pen properly, he scribbled a few words that looked something like:

'l m u // t r e mem/////r'

He struggled to remember how certain English alphabets looked like and tried again in Russian

'Я д о ///ен  п о // н //ть'

Again,  he couldn't even remember some of the Russian alphabets, did he really forget that much? An overwhelming sense of sadness overcame him, he realised how much pain he had caused for all the people he knew, though the most important thing was (Y/F/N) at this point, besides re-learning how to write English and Russian alphabets again. He knew his vocabulary, just not his letters.

Three days passed uneventfully, though Ivan had managed to recover basic memories of his friends, family and was now practising writing all over again, the memories of his accident were far from being remembered. The therapist had been visiting often, ensuring that Ivan didn't stress himself from trying to remember.

"As usual Mr. Braginski, lean back and try to remember, the best moment in your life," the therapist's calming voice instructed, "Now, close your eyes...deep breaths, Mr. Braginski, deep breaths, and place all your focus into that one memory."

The Russian's shoulders relaxed as he slowly zoned out, staring into that blank void in front of him, searching through his forgotten memories.

Sunflowers, a field of them, a blurred image of a woman and himself, stood among them.
"This is so pretty, Ivan! I can't believe you actually planted all this yourself!" the woman said, her hands clasped together, admiring the sight. He uttered something inaudible, and the woman laughed before hugging him.
"Come on! Don't be so shy, you're amazing!" the woman praised, a small smile graced his lips and he pecked the woman's cheek. 

Then everything went black, he was back to the bloody scene, but a little more of it was revealed now.

"Watch out, Ivan!" the same woman's voice shrieked as her blurry image pushed him to the side. The car crashed into the lorry in front of them, spinning around and broken shards of glass fell in the car. He called out something unheard once more.

The scene changed to a scene of blood, and more blood. A frail image of a woman lay beside him, horns beeping and the paramedics rushing out the ambulance, carrying the woman away while some picked his lifeless body, he tried to open his mouth to speak but failed to and everything went black.

Ivan shot up, panting heavily, searching the room frantically, not knowing that he was clutching the plastic cushioned chair so hard, the metal almost dented from his grip. 

"Mr. Braginski? Please, take a deep breath and try to relax," the therapist said, in an attempt to calm his nerves.
"I-I saw it...my lover...wh-where is she?" he asked, through heavy breaths as he attempted to get up.
"Not now, Mr. Braginski, you need to calm down first. It won't be good to exert your body with stress so soon, now please."
"No. No! I need to know what happened! Please! Please..." he said, his knees giving way and he collapsed on the floor, tears falling down his face, all strength seeping out of him.

The nurses quickly came in and guided him back to his room. Upon leaving, the group of them shut the door behind themselves before discussing things.

"We can't possibly tell him the unfortunate news..."

"Yeah, not in his condition...he needs to gather basic memories first."

"If he knew so soon, I don't think it'll be possible for him to accept it. He just awoke yesterday."

The voices of the nurses died out quickly, and their footsteps soon died away.

*****

A/N: The slashes mean the cancelled out words and scribbles that Russia wrote whilst remembering. Also, the full Russian sentence he attempted to write is the same as the English version. It isn't very significant for the story line, so I won't tell you what he was trying to write in Russian. Just know it was the phrase "I must remember". So, this story should be done in about...2-3 more chapters. The epilogue also most likely won't be much better to be honest, sorry for the lack of fluff! This is  an angst fic after all :P