Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 77

"I sat alone, in bed 'til the morning
I'm crying, "They're coming for me"
And I tried to hold these secrets inside me, My mind's like a deadly disease."
-Halsey

I'm covered in blankets. My shivering won't stop despite the 48 hours since they started.
"They've never lasted this long..." I whisper into the darkness of the room. Peeta lies in bed next to me, sleeping.
At least, I thought he was sleeping.

"What?" He mumbles sleepily.
I don't answer, hoping he'll forget and go back to sleep. He sits up, though, looking at me.
"You said something?" He asks.
I keep my eyes shut and try to steady my breathing as if I'm actually asleep.

"I know you're awake." He leans his head down and whispers in my ear.
I open my eyes.
"Fine. You caught me." I reply.
"What did you say?" He asks.
"I was just talking to myself about how cold it is still." I spill.
He raises his eyebrows at me.
"What? I'm telling the truth. That's what I said."
He's silent for a moment, his lips pursed.
"Okay." He says finally, "Get some sleep, okay?"

He lies back down and stirs a little bit before he gets comfortable and is swept off to sleep very soon.
I, on the other hand, do not. I sit up in bed, trying to find something in the room to focus on.

The room is pitch dark, though, making it hard for me to find anything to look at. So, instead, I place my hand on my belly and move it in circles.

"That's what your daddy does for me when I'm having... a bad day." I whisper, as if the baby can hear me.

Doctor Lucia says that the baby can actually hear me. Not that she really understands what I'm saying to her. Lucia says that she recognizes my voice, though, as all babies can with their mothers.

"Hey baby girl," I say. I sigh, not sure what I'm even doing. "I hope I haven't put you through too much. I know a lot has happened. I hope you're still okay. I'm sorry if you're cold in there. Trust me when I say this, it's a lot colder out here."

I think I feel her stir. Not much, but a little. And then, she kicks. I suck in air sharply, then regret it in fear of waking Peeta. Thankfully he doesn't wake up.

"So, I guess that means you can hear me, huh? Well, let me tell you a little bit about the world out here. Mommy and Daddy are very much in love. Mommy... She's a little sick. Sometimes her head goes a little funny, but you won't understand that for a long, long time. But your daddy helps me through it. It's probably a lot
colder out here, harsher and crueler than in my tummy. You're probably going to cry a lot. But your mommy and daddy know it's okay to cry. Mommy cries a lot. Daddy doesn't cry unless mommy isn't there." I whisper.

She kicks again, and instead of an intake of air, I let out a small noise. Peeta still doesn't stir.

"Nice to know you're there, Willow. You know, I think your middle name is going to be Primrose, after your Aunt Prim. She would have loved to be here when you come. You don't understand this yet, and it'll be awhile, but Mommy got taken off her medicine a few days ago. The road is dangerous from here on out, but Will, I can't lose you now. Hold on, baby girl. You weren't planned but you are so, so loved and so, so wanted. I'll try to keep you as safe as I can." I continue.

She kicks again twice more.
"Okay, well, I need to sleep, so I'd appreciate if you'd stop that." I whisper as I lay back down.
I scoot a little closer to Peeta and roll over so we're nearly spooning. I'm laying with my eyes closed, waiting for sleep, when I feel a hand in my hair.
Peeta.

"You're going to be such a good mother." He whispers.
"You heard me?" I ask, slightly embarrassed.
"I love you." He says as an answer.