Kelly is my rock. She took me in her arms and we cried together, that's all I needed. I hope the others choke on their angry words. Actually, I don't mean that. That's just me being angry. And I mustn't let anger take over me; it's such a negative emotion.
I can't sleep.
Kelly gave me two high-powered sleeping pills and I still can't sleep. The hard floor isn't helping, but I can't get into the bed, my Tan not being there hurts too much.
I just feel dopey and drugged.
The middle of the night multiplies loneliness by a hundred, and I don't help myself by reading Tan's suicide letter again. I keep focusing on one line, "I want you to move on from me, find the lady of your dreams and settle down."
"I know you mean well, Tan, but that's easier said than done," I say this out loud, as if she's still here. A small part of me waits for her to answer, sleepily from our bed. But realistically, I know she won't.
"You were the lady of my dreams, Tan," I say, pulling the chair from under my desk and switching on my laptop. "Jeez, come on Tan, point me in the right direction, give me some kinda insight as to where where I go from here. Truth is Tan, I'm lost without ya," I say, while my laptop starts up.
I like talking to Tan like this, it gives me comfort and it means she's still part of: my life, my story, our story.
Looking at some of our last selfies together helps to erase my last image of her with Topknot guy. If I ever see him again, he'll get more than angry words from me, trust me.
My eye catches Tan's letter again, the words "Find the lady of your dreams..." pop out at me real strong. This must be for a reason.
The lady in the pub?
The one who bought me drinks. The officer said there was no lady. There WAS a Lady.
I make a note of returning to that pub, I need to find out who that lady was. And this is weird, but in some way I do feel guided by Tan. Not in some supernatural way, I'm not going to suddenly go all-spiritual on you and claim Tan is talking to me from beyond the grave. No, it's just that sixth-sense type of thing. And, I've been so consumed by grief, that I forgot to ask questions. I accepted everything the officer told me. That's not how The Kade operates.
I punch the air and look up, "Thanks Tan, I'm with you, wherever you are."
Turning to my laptop I decide to watch some soothing music videos, maybe they'll lull me into sleep.
But wait, what's that, did I really just see that?
I press the back key on my browser. Because I'm sure I saw a pop up advertisement for an Imp!
Jeez. I did. There it is. A pop up banner advertisement for the Imps. Two brightly colored Imps, a male and female one gaze invitingly from my screen, embracing the words 'FIND YOUR FRIEND FOR LIFE' in a child like font. Under these words I see: 'Click Here.'
When I do, I'm taken to an Imp website. It's been carefully designed and implemented to appeal to every childlike sensibility: primary colors, beautifully shot pictures of Imps in the arms of adoring children, frolicking in the playground, in their beds, in little baskets on the front of their bikes, even in the freaking swimming pool.
Scanning the pages furiously I can see that the Imps are been marketed to children as the 'take anywhere friend.' It's all so captivating, bright and persuasive that it's the ultimate in sinister.
But I guess, only those of us in the know, like Tan and I will recognize this. To the un-knowing eye it looks entirely innocent.
I have a hit of hurt when I realize I just thought of Tan in the present tense. I guess only I'm in the know, now. I remind myself of that fact as I continue to browse the site.
A box with text catches my eye: Click here to preview our brand new advertising campaign.
I click and watch.
It's HORRIFIC!
Not in the literal sense. No, literally it's all quite awesome, which is why it's so damn horrific.
Smiling kids all: living, loving and laughing with a cute little Imp by their side. The advertisement has high production values and is shot and directed superbly. I note with interest that many of the scenes are on London's Southbank; this was produced right under our noses.
The final sing off, sung by a chorus of sunny kids all with a cute and cuddly Imps, is irritatingly catchy and up-beat, "SIDE BY SIDE, OR EVEN APART, AN IMP IS FOREVER CLOSE TO YOUR HEART."
It makes me feel nauseous, totally.
Still, I click to watch again and lean in a little closer this time. While the innocent public will see this as a charming advertisement for a kid's cuddly toy, I see it as evidence, to be studied.
WAIT!
Rewind and play again.
PAUSE!
REWIND.
I lean in close before I hit play again, and PAUSE.
I zoom in on the stilled scene.
Is that HIM?
It's HIM!
Blink and you'll miss him, but he can't get past my eagle eye. It's Topknot guy.
It's definitely Topknot guy.
The guy I saw Tan embracing is in this advertisement, playing an adoring member of the public.
Feeling suddenly wide-awake I dress in my fly-pack blackout gear. If Darby & Associates had a hand in making this creative campaign, then I want to find out what kinda hands they are.
And more importantly, I wanna know exactly how Tan's first day in that office went.
I secure my fly-pack and creep stealthily out of our living quarters and into the sleeping hallways of the Hospital.
Topknot guy is gonna have an unscheduled morning meeting with The Kade.
Outside, the city sleeps and is shrouded in blackness. As I power up my pack and lift off the ground, disappearing into the black sky, I can hear Tan's voice compelling me onwards, "GO Kade – GO!"
The Lady: Part. 6
Start from the beginning
