The Lady: Part. 6

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My feet edge ever closer to the brink of the bridge. I pause with my heels balancing precariously on the edge. It's now or never.

An insistent voice hums in my head, goading me, "Jump Kade. What have you got to live for now she's gone?"

Slowly I allow my body to fall forwards and the g-forces slap my face as I plummet downwards toward the murky mass of fast flowing drudge that is the River Thames.

My nose skims the cold water before I'm yanked violently upright and I shoot skywards by the force of my fly-pack on full throttle.

The rush of wind against my skin as I fly through the clouds is both exhilarating and life affirming. I shout at the top of my voice, "Give me a sign Tan. Let me feel your soul, your essence. I know you've physically left me, but your energy never will!"

And in that instant, as I zoom ever higher, her smell floods my senses, I open my mouth and taste her sweetness and then the calming tone of her voice fills my head and I feel my darkness diminishing.

Even in death, Tan helps me. Only she can turn my darkness into light and as it continues to descend, I know this is the sign I've asked her for. I'm deeply comforted by this insight.

I reduce my height and fly toward the Hospital, suddenly aware of the fact that I really shouldn't be flying in the full glare of morning light. Yet I needed to, I needed to feel Tan, and I did, I definitely did. Of that I'm sure.

Unfortunately, I didn't receive on overly sympathetic welcome from the others:

"That was so bloody irresponsible of you Kade!" Asserts Troy. His words delivered in his highly pompous English vowels. I like Troy, but he can be overly arrogant, a trait that pisses me off and often causes tension between us. I ignored his lack of empathy; in time I'll remind him how much he let himself and Tan's memory down, by berating me before sympathizing with me. Life in the real world really highlights people's true colors.

"You have put all our security at risk young man. I raised you better than this, I taught you not to take unnecessary risks. Flying over Central London, It would not surprise me if we have the world's media trying to track down the UFM as I speak!" Shouts my father. The irony of him referring to me as 'young man' is not lost on us, and I see Kelly smile through her tears.

Kelly is the only one to instinctively hug me. With her arms wrapped around me, she asks, "What's a UFM, dad?" He looks so pissed and spits, "Unidentified Flying Man!" He storms away, "I'm off to Mortal Kombat!" His stomping sounds like the pitter-patter of an excited kid rather than an angry dad.

Tony's been medicated. He can't make mathematical sense of his sister's death, so his response to it is severe frustration rather than a grieving emotion.

I look at him sitting at the computer, in a semi sedated stupor, still furiously examining data and algorithms in an attempt to make some logical sense of why Tanya is no longer with us. I guess he will never realize that you can't make sense out of the nonsensical.

The irony is, Tan would know just how to handle him; she had the magic touch with her brother, Tony.

My mother's brain is powered down for a few days. Not great timing as I could do with her maternal warmth.

I'm feeling super, super lonely right now. This loneliness is compounded by the way Troy and little Kelvin reacted to me. They both gave me only a cursory sympathetic acknowledgement over Tan's death, then launched straight into attacking me for my flying misdemeanor.

It's as if they see my emotional reaction to Tan's death as a weakness in me. They've made me feel kinda isolated, add that to lonely and you have an unsolved equation. Troy might have the 'British stiff upper lip' but I don't. He can go take a hike.

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