From Nerd To Rebel

Everything has changed

"JESSIE!" I called and ran up to her.

"Scar! You guys made it!" She yelled. "Michael, I didn't know if the text would go through. Anyways, get some drinks, have some fun, and PARTY!!" She screamed and everyone cheered.

"Everyone was waiting for you," she whispered in my ear.

I smiled and got some drinks. We started dancing and trashing the whole place. We had our fun and didn't stop drinking. By the time we left it was about 3:00 a.m. but we weren't at all tired, be intoxicated and all.

As we walked up the driveway of my mom's house, Cameron came out looking like his head was about to explode. I couldn't help myself, I felt the need to laugh and cower away at the same time. And angry Cameron is not something you want to see.

"WHERE WERE YOU!? IT IS 3:00 A. M.!!" He screamed in my face. The gang went back to their apartments but I wanted to come home to get our clothes we accidentally left behind.

"Relax dude, damn." I said and patted his arm.

"We're you drinking!? You're 15!!!!" He yelled.

"Shhhhhhh, don't wake people up." I laughed. Even though I was drinking, I knew what was going on.

"GO INSIDE!" He screamed. I shook my head 'no'.

"You're not the boss of me," I said.

"Of course I am, I'm your older brother!" He yelled, again.

"Older brothers don't break contact with their sisters for a year," I said and left. I'll just get our clothes another time. I can't believe he just said that. He's no older brother to me anymore, he means nothing to me. Who does that? Who could do that to somebody? How can someone have such control of someone's emotions like that? By this time, I had tears running down my face.

"GET BACK HERE!" He ran after me. I ran. I ran and ran and ran and didn't take one glance back at him. I don't need this. Nobody does.

I didn't go home. I didn't go anywhere. I went to a 24-hour drug store and bought a blade. I don't know why, but I did. I need to take some of the pain away. I act like I don't care about Cameron, about how he left me, about how he treated me like I was nothing. But, I am nothing. I'm not important. The world doesn't know I exist. Because I don't. At least, I don't want to. I don't need to. I just fill up empty space between everyone. No one will care if I didn't exist. They wouldn't notice if I were gone or not.

Then I'm running. What if I left? Would anyone care? Would they notice? No. They wouldn't. No one cares about me. I go to an empty building for sale. No one is here, good. I go to a corner and cry there. It's been about a year since I last cried. I get the blade out of my pocket and hold it against my pale skin. I put just enough pressure on it so it makes an indent in my skin. I've never done this before but I can figure it out. And then I slice. It hurts like a bitch. But it also distracts me from the real pain. It feels so painful, yet so good at the same time. I make another mark on my other arm. And I keep doing this process until there are three marks on each of my arms.

"No one cares about me..." I whisper quietly to myself. I continue to cry. This is ridiculous. I don't deserve this. Cameron caused me so much pain. What did I do?

"WILLOW!?" Someone calls from not to far away. Shit. Why!? Can I not just be alone?

I run. But being me of course I trip over a table that I didn't see which causes a loud crash. Great, of course he heard that.

Someone runs in as I get up. This is it. I'm standing here in front of my 'brother'.

"Willow." He breathes out. I'm sobbing, quietly though. He walks over to me but I back up and he stops.

"Please just leave," my voice sounds strained because of my crying.

"Willow please," then I notice he's crying too.

"Don't call me that," I say and wipe my tears with the back of my arm.

"Willow, what's on your arm?" He asks. Shit.

I run.