Girls [ WATTYS 2016 ] ✔️

chapter twelve

     I'm absolutely terrified.

     I feel like I've put this all so far back into my mind that it's terrifying to finally pin point at it. I'm scared and I don't know what to do.

     I sighed as I laid back into the soft grass and looked up at the sky. There weren't really any stars to be seen, but it was still nice to look at the dark navy color. It calmed me.

     Someone lied down next to me and I didn't even bother to look over at who it was. Maybe they need some time to be calm just as much as I do.

     "Thought I might find you here." Someone said. I knew that voice had to belong to May Parker.

     I wiped my tears and sniffed my nose as I continued to look up at the sky. I didn't want to face her; not now.

     "I'm gonna be honest with you." She began. My heart started thumping. "I was really nervous for you to meet Brooke. I mean, we've never talked about sexuality before - you know, new friends usually don't - but I was scared that you wouldn't accept me. And then when you ran off I started thinking that this was all too soon, you know? I'm already introducing you to my ex-girlfriend and letting you into my life."

     I stayed quiet as I gulped.

     "I was afraid that you wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore and that sucked because you're a great person. I wouldn't want to loose you over one simple thing."

     I finally turned my head to face her and my insides went wild. She was so close to me; I could feel her breath on my shoulder.

     "I didn't run away because of you," I spoke softly and took a deep breath, "I ran away because of me."

     She furrowed her eyebrows together and I couldn't help but think that her face looked extremely cute when she was confused. Oh, God.

     "I've - um..." I cleared my throat and tried to look anywhere but her eyes, but eventually I landed right back on her. "I've been trying to hide something from myself for a long time and, uh... It's just really hard."

     Tears started falling out of my eyes slowly. I felt like my entire body was drained of tears and I was just letting out the last few. May sat up and picked me up as well while she hugged me. My head was on her shoulder and her hands were in my hair and on my back and I just felt tingles wherever she touched me.

     I sighed into the hug and closed my eyes.

     "You'll be okay." She soothed.

We just sat there, together, hugging for the longest time. She stroked my hair and made my heart flutter as I just sobbed into her shoulder. It felt amazing to be here with her. We were surrounded by people yet it felt like we were the only two in the world.

Eventually we pulled away and I wiped my face.

"Sorry," I chuckled lightly. "I'm a mess." My face was probably red and splotchy from all the crying.

She smiled and her eyes smiled too.

"I'm a mess, too, if it makes you feel better." She said. I sniffed my nose and dropped my hands from my face.

"Oh, be quiet." I laughed, "you're nowhere near a mess."

"Oh, yeah?" She challenged. We both smiled. "I'm such a mess that when I get upset with people I try to make them forgive me by doing them good deeds. And whenever I go to bed, I have to alternate between pillows every night." She grinned. "Also, when I try to curl my hair, I end up burning my head instead. And, also, I like to buy milk from a store but then accidentally spill it all over a girl named Ashley."