Saving the Beta's Daughter (Completed)

Chapter 15

Piper

After Caleb left the room, it was completely silent. No one knew what to say, and all of us were in shock. I didn't know that Amanda had abilities; that surprised me. But I wasn't just surprised by this whole situation. I felt betrayed, sad, scared, and relieved all at the same time.

I felt like Amanda had betrayed me. I obviously didn't tell anyone, but she shared my secret. I was sad because I remembered exactly what I saw. When Caleb mentioned the flashback, it quickly replayed in my head. I was frightened about two things. I was afraid that Caleb would tell more people. I was supposed to have a clean slate here, but my hopes of that just diminished. I was scared that Caleb would take action, and he would to something stupid. I know that we're not exactly at a good place right now, but I care about him. And I don't want him to get hurt.

Lastly, I'm relieved. I spent so much time thinking about how to tell Caleb. I spent sleepless nights trying to find the right way to reveal my biggest secret. Now, I don't have to. He knows already. Sure, it wasn't the best way for him to find out, but I don't think I would ever have it in me to even tell him.

I know that I would have eventually told him. But I was thinking I would just cross that bridge when I got to it. Apparently, Amanda thought that she would knock me out and drag me to the bridge, forcing me to cross it. Metaphorically of course. Now, I'm stuck in the middle of the bridge and I can't go back to where I started. There's no other option, but to go the rest of the way.

"Pipes?" Mason said softly. I looked up and noticed that we were the only ones in the room. "Are you okay with me sleeping in here? I can find somewhere else to sleep tonight" he stated.

Frowning, I looked down at my hands that were still trembling. "I don't think I can handle it" I said quietly. Looking at him, Mason nodded in understanding. "Can you send Zeke in though? Please" I asked.

He nodded. "Just mind-link me if you need anything" he said as he made his way out the room with a pillow and blanket tucked under his arm.

I hate this. I hate everything about this. Post panic-attacks, I'm always weak and twitchy. I can't handle being around guys. I constantly break down. I'll have uncontrollable nightmares which make me not want to close my eyes. And the damn shaking. Its like shivering when your cold, but never-ending. I hate being like this.

And after the shaking and nightmares stop, it still doesn't get better. I'll shut everyone out. I'll be jumpy and I will avoid physical contact. I don't know why I allowed Caleb to hug me. I wouldn't let Grams hug me. It just felt too constricting. It felt like I didn't have room to breathe.

But when he hugged me. I felt warm and safe. I believed him when he said he wouldn't hurt me. I believed him when he said he'll do everything to make sure I don't get hurt again. I trust him. And that's something I don't want. That's something I can't have.

I don't want to believe in him. I don't want to trust him. I don't want to have feelings for him. I don't want any of it. If I believe him, it'll hurt more when he lies. If I trust him, there's more of a chance for me to get disappointed. If I develop feelings for him, I'll be the one hurt in the end. And I can't handle that. I can't go through it again.

I can't believe that someone will save me because it's not gonna happen; I saved myself. I can't have someone tell me that they'll help me, but they don't do shit. I can't love anyone. The people who were supposed to love me, used me. I went through this whole process before, it just breaks me a little more every time.

A warm hand brushed my hair out of my face. Zeke looked at me with a sad expression as he wiped my tears away. I didn't even notice I was crying. He sad criss-cross with his back against the headboard and pulled my head onto his lap. "It's gonna be okay" he declared. "You don't have to talk about it. No one is gonna push you. Baby steps, remember?" he said softly.