If Not For You

YEAR: 1971

~~~~~~~~George's POV~~~~~

Its been 3 years since Penny died...I miss her more and more everyday. I decided to visit her grave with Dhani one afternoon. It was hard for him to see her grave; he probably missed her more than I did.

"Hi mum..." he said as he sat down in front of her grave. "I miss ye so much," he looked back to me as I handed him a rose, Penny's favorite flower. "I grew this for ye," he placed the rose in front of her grave. "If ye want, I can come back and plant a rose bush for ye,"
"I'm sure she'd love that Dhani," I smiled.
"Mum, dad wrote ye a song...actually he wrote ye a few! They're really good. He started writtin them after ye...ye know. The album is called All Things Must Pass. Its amazin! My favorite song is If Not For You...cause its about ye..." Dhani stopped talking for a few minutes. "I really miss ye..."
"I'm sure she misses ye too," I sat down next him and began talking to the grave. "So I, uh...I'm datin again...I'm not enjoyin it that much," I let out a faint laugh. "But I know its what ye would've wanted..."
"You guys would do anything for each other, just so you'd be happy," an old American lady said from behind us.
"Gram!" Dhani cheered.
"Shhh,"
"Sorry," he whispered.
"Hi George," she said.
"Hi Loretta..."
"You miss her don't you?"
"Everyday...how are ye holdin up?"
"I've been adapting. I've lost two kids," she scoffed. "That's really hard to go through..."
"I bet it is...hey Loretta, do ye wanna come home with us?"
"Sure," she shrugged.

I gave her half a smile and faced Penny's grave. I kissed my hand then laid my hand on top of the stone.

"I love ye," I whispered as a lone tear dripped down my face.

We all went back to the house not long after. Loretta decided to stay for dinner and help me with Dhani.

"So, have ye found a girlfriend yet?" she asked.
"I'm talkin to a girl from Mexico. She's nice...I think she's an author,"
"Has she met Dhani yet?"
"No, but she knows of him,"
"Does Dhani know of her?"
"Yeah, I told him about her,"
"How'd he react?"
"Not well...and I get it. If yer mum dies ye don't want yer dad lookin for someone else,"
"What's her name?"
"Olivia,"
"How long have been seein her?"
"About a month,"
"Is she here? Like in the U.K.?"
"Yeah, she's about 30 minutes away,"
"Call her, I wanna meet her,"
"Its kinda late, maybe tomorrow,"
"Invite her out to breakfast and we'll all meet her,"
"Fine," I sighed.

The next morning I invited Olivia to breakfast. Loretta, Dhani, and I all met her down at a local diner.

"Hi George," she said while giving me a hug.
"Hi Liv,"
"Who are they?"
"This is..." I panicked, I didn't want to tell her it was my dead wife's mum!
"I'm an old friend," Loretta uttered.
"And this must be Dhani," Olivia smiled. "Hi, I'm Olivia," she stuck out her hand to introduce herself.
"Hi," Dhani refused to shake her hand.
"He's still upset about Penny isn't he?"
"Yeah..."
"You are too...aren't you?"
"Yeah," I whispered.
"Its okay," she hugged me once more.
"Well..." Loretta awkwardly said. "Let's eat," she chuckled.

That morning we had an awkward breakfast. Dhani kept giving Olivia a cold stare while I felt weird being out with someone that wasn't Penny. On the car ride home, Loretta started talking about Olivia.

"I like her," she said.
"I don't," Dhani pouted.
"So what are you gonna do George?"
"What do ye mean?"
"Are you gonna stay with her?"
"Don't do it dad,"
"Then I won't,"
"What!" Loretta yelled.
"If Dhani's not happy, then I'm not happy,"
"George if you like the woman go out with her! Don't do Penny's stupid, Whatever it takes to make Dhani happy, thing. Its so stupid! Do what makes you happy!"
"DO NOT INSULT HER!" I yelled while slamming the breaks.
"Dad!" Dhani shrieked as he jerked forward.
"George it was stupid and you know it!"
"Without that stupid method, I wouldn't have Dhani and I never would have had her as a wife!" I continued driving. "It wasn't stupid..." I cried.
"Dad ye hurt me when ye hit the brakes," Dhani complained.
"Sorry," I said while looking back at him. "Loretta, I-I just don't think I'm ready to date again..."
"Its been 3 years!"
"Then how come ye didn't date after yer husband left ye?"
"Its not the same,"
"Yeah, yer situation was much worse," I sarcastically said. "Loretta, I think I would be better off, just raisin Dhani on my own,"
"He should have a mother!"
"He had one! No one else could ever compare to her. He loved her and no one can replace her."

Later that night as I tried to sleep I had a nightmare about a record session back in 1969.

"George what's the song ye wrote?" Ringo asked.
"Something," I replied.
"So are we gonna record it or not?" Paul chuckled.
"Yeah, let's go,"

I cleared my throat and started playing.

"Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me

I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

You're asking me will my love grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around now it may show
I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how,"

"That was for her...wasn't it," Paul whispered.
"Yeah," I sighed.
"She would be loved it," Paul said as he pat my back.
"Oh shut up! She's dead! Who cares about her anymore!" John yelled.
"Shut the fuck up Lennon!" Ringo defended. "Yer lucky that we bailed ye outta jail...we should've let ye rot!"
"Yeah, like the world would've let a Beatle rot in jail," he scoffed. "And I'm sure lots of girls are devastated over her death," he said with a sarcastic tone in his voice. "C'mon George, ye had to know deep down that she never loved ye,"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled as I woke up crying. Dhani soon rushed in to see what was wrong.
"Dad, are ye okay?"
"Yeah," I lied.
"No yer not," he said as he sat next to me in bed. "What happened?"
"I had a dream about yer mother..."
"And ye were tellin her to shut up because..."
"I was tellin John to shut up, that piece of shit," I an angry tone rushed into my voice.
"Dad, John's gone, its better... It's always gettin better," he gave me half a smile.
I gave him a smile back and whispered, "All the time."