CHAPTER TWO
Who I Am and Who I Pretend to Be
The first time I saw Roza, I remember wondering why such trash would be so blatantly thrown in such a visible part of the shop. She looked so much like a pile of rags, so good at curling in on herself and hiding, that I honestly didn’t realize that there was a person under all that faded cloth. Then the pile moved and became a body as her muscles seemed to spasm in reaction to something that I couldn’t see. The movement was sharp and minute, as if she hadn’t consciously thought, but had instinctively reacted to some invisible enemy. She hadn’t heard or responded to my approach at all.
I remember feeling a sudden inexplicable worry for the person and I immediately rushed to her side, shaking her by the shoulders. She’d whipped around, her hands slightly raised, palms up, as if to ward me off.
When her gaze caught mine, I froze.
...
The look in her eyes at that moment will haunt me for the rest of my life.
~Claire Pia
*March 19, 2013 6:04am*
“What do you mean, ‘you’re sick’?! You can’t be ‘sick’! I have a live interview that I’m supposed to host in less than 4 hours, at a place that’s devoid of any electric appliance besides the ten-year-old coffee maker in the kitchen, and I’m the only one even here yet! … No, I’m not exaggerating, Mark. My mother doesn’t even own a TV … Well, yes, but I think that that particular teenage girl cares about a TV less than my mother does. ...That doesn’t even make any sense, Mark. … What? No! Do have any idea, any sense of how many teenage girls are going to be listening today?! Huh?! Our top technician can’t take a sick- … … And I understand that, but this interview is- … But I don’t want Cory, I want you! … How can you be so selfish!? … That’s not funny, Mark. … No … Fine, but he better be over here in the next five minutes. … Bye, Mark,” Josephine hung up the phone and took a deep calming breath, before running her hands through her hair and over her face, mumbling to herself, “It is not my job to figure all this out! Just because everyone knows that I’ll be able to get it done- I’m going to look like a pile of crap by the time they get here and noooobody cares!” Another long breath.
Josephine was a mess, her hair falling out of her once-tight bun, and several strands stuck to her forehead and neck with dried sweat. It was obvious that she’d been up all night, but her distress at the idea of her meeting her precious singer and accompanying band, looking like that, amused me and my mouth quirked awkwardly. Josephine caught the crooked, half-grin out of the corner of her eye, and turned to give her own, her expression pleasantly surprised.
“You think that’s funny, do you? Well, laugh it up, Ro, at least someone’s entertained,” she took yet another deep breath, gave her phone a creepily suspicious look, and then looked up at me, hesitant.
“I have to take a shower.”
I raised an eyebrow in a clear ‘and???’ gesture.
“You know, you’re a real smart-off today.”
I just shrugged and turned back to my book. Rolling her eyes, she gave her cell one more wary look, before setting it in front of me and I barely glanced at her, in question.
“Can you just watch it? I mean-... Just- Oh, never mind,” she stopped fiddling, throwing up her hands in exasperation, and practically ran up the stairs.
I didn’t even look up.
* * *
“And now I’m looking at you,” he said, “and you’re asking me if I still want you, as if I could stop loving you. As if I would want to give up the thing that makes me stronger than anything else ever has. I never dared give much of myself to anyone before – bits of myself to the Lightwoods, to Isabelle and Alec, and it took years to do it – but, Clary, since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you complet-
