Flirtation Formula

5☆

Emily Fields

"Mona thinks you're hers? That delusional trick." Aria says, a few days later as we sit together in the Staar Cafe. "Mhm," I dip my French fry in the little plastic cup of ketchup. "She's even jealous of Alison." Aria's hazel eyes widen a bit as she stifles a laugh. "Wow, she just doesn't understand you don't date, and when you do...you don't." I smile. Aria is telling the truth after all; I don't do cutesy dates or holding hands or anything like that. That stuff is for pansies. "Mona was too clingy as a girlfriend, a roommate, you name it."

Aria eats a bite of her salad, thinking. "Was she even clingy in ya know, bed?" I choke on my fries. "What the hell, A!" Aria laughs at my reaction, putting another forkful of salad into her mouth. "What? Just asking." I raise an eyebrow. "Right, just 'asking'. Like I believe that." She brushes her hair behind her ear before continuing. "So what did Alison do?" I shrug. "She casually said she was gonna write her name with Mona's blood on a locker or something." Aria winces. "Uck, for your sake let's hope it's the or something. You don't want to fuck a a psycho." I playfully hit her. "Oh my god, what is in your salad?" Aria laughs eating another forkful. "Drugs." She says, her face serious. "You weirdo." The brunette shrugs, rolling her hazel eyes. "That's why you love me." I throw a fry at her. "Yeah, right."

"Anyway, you're the weirdo." I flip her off in response. "Oh my gosh, put that away!" I smirk, raising both my hands to flip her off. "Put those away!"

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I start walking to my next class, which unfortunately Maya, a minion of Mona's is in. I don't know why I even got with the girls in that group, they're all annoying and rude. "Noel baby, I gotta jet. I'll see you later." I see Alison talking to her boyfriend. He hooks an arm around her waist and pulls her in for a kiss. "Break it up you two horny teens." Alison looks mortified and Noel looks plain aggravated. If I was a boy he'd probably punch me square in the nose. "What the hell Fields," Alison says through clenched teeth. "You know what happens when a boy and a girl kiss? Things get heated fast, and then you get pregnant and you die." I say, referring to one of my favorite movies. "We're in public, things were not going to get-" I place a finger to her lips. "You get pregnant and you die." I repeat, narrowing my eyes. "Emily that's not how it wo-"

"You die." I say, crossing my arms with my eyes still narrowed. "Look our sex life is none of your buisness, lady." Noel says as he frowns. "Besides, your lips keep moving and all I hear is 'blah blah blabbity blah blah'." I laugh at his pathetic attempt at a burn. "That's funny, you think I actually give a damn." Noel rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry dear, but for you to insult me I have to actually value your opinion." I place my hands on my hips, sizing this guy up. "Not even five minutes into this conversation and I already think you're a jerk." Alison steps between us. "Guys, guys. Calm down."

"I would, but this bitch is on her period or something." I take a deep breath, wondering if I should gently push Alison out of the way and kick this boy right in his manhood. Ya know what, I think I shall. I move Alison out of the way, before socking Noel in the face. "Why, do you need a tampon or something?" I say, leaning down to look him in the eye. He quickly gets up from the floor. "Emily! How dare you?" Alison hisses as she helps Noel up. "He-" Alison cuts me off. "I don't want to hear it." Noel smirks at Alison. "You're not in the clear either." The smirk drops from his face as my own appears. "She asked for it!"

"I will knock you on your ass you little shit!" I say through gritted teeth. "Watch it whore." I gasp. "Oh that's it!" I jump onto him, punching him in the face multiple times until Alison pulls me off. "Stop, stop it!" Noel stands up, holding his nose and cheek. "Noel, maybe you should go." He sighs. "But babe, it wasn't my fault," He starts, running his free hand through his hair. "Just go." Alison says, throwing daggers at him with her eyes. Noel hangs his head and slowly walks away from the scene. "Thanks I-" Alison glares at me. "I don't want to hear anything from you. Just leave me alone."

"Uh, Alison we live in the same dorm, you sorta have to see and talk to me." She shakes her head. "Go sleep in Aria's room. I'm locking you out. " I raise an eyebrow at this comment. "Do you have memory loss or did you not hear the part where I said we live in the same dorm?" Alison frowns, slowly turning red. She stomps away to our dorm. "She didn't even take my damn key." I shake my head and start walking to the dorm.

Once I get there I try the door. Surprisingly, unlocked. I decide to check the bathroom to make sure Alison isn't present. I'd be mad if I were her too, but I need to pack a bag. I slowly knock on the door. "Leave, I'm taking an angry pee." I stifle a laugh. "An angry pee?"

"Emily I am giving you ten seconds to pack and get out." I grumble and start grabbing random things to pack in my bag. "Can you get out of the bathroom I need my toothbrush and stuff." She opens the bathroom door, quickly throws my things at me and closes the door once more. "Wow, thank you so much for your consideration." I say before slamming the door.

Honestly, I haven't been to Aria's room more than five times so I barely know where it is. I dial her up and pray she'll answer because if not I'll be forced to call Mona. "Hi, this is Aria speaking and I'm not avalible at the moment." Shit. The one time I need to bunk with her. I run a hand over my face frustrated. If this continues I'll have acne! "Hi Mona. It's me Emily, and I have to ask you something."