Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 41

That certainly shut her up. "Oh my God," she whispered, presumably to herself, "I'm the worst best friend ever."

"Yeah, you are," I agreed, kind of teasing her since I was over it by now.

"I'm so sorry, Jess. I don't know where the hell I was... Up my own arse, probably. If I'd have known I would hav—"

"It's okay," I cut off her blubbering, and she enveloped me in a tight hug.

"Anyway," I spoke up to remove her from me, "I went to Harry's and sort of told him that he was being a díck and gave him the chance to say he was sorry, but he didn't and I left. Long story short, he chased me up the road in his car and got really... emotional? He actually opened up to me and apologised so I told him he had one chance. And now we're here," I finished.

"And where or what is 'here'?" she questioned with her eyebrow quirked upwards, but something told me she already knew the answer.

"I wish I knew. We're in this weird limbo where we're technically nothing to each other, but I... I like him, you know? It's weird and this whole thing so far has been a disaster, and all he does is hide behind this wall and bottle everything up and be horrible to everyone, but I like him. And I don't know exactly how he feels — hell, I don't think he even knows how he feels — but he's different when we're on our own," I explained, Mckenzie gazing at me with a sympathetic and understanding look on her face the whole time.

"I guess you've just gotta give it time — give him a chance to really come to terms with this and open up to you. Louis is convinced Harry really does like you, but he's in way over his head. He's not exactly the easiest person to be involved with, but according to the person who knows him best, if anyone can manage him it's you."

A small smile crept onto my face at the thought of Louis preaching to Mckenzie the things he's already told me; he must really be confident that Harry and I can make this work — whatever 'this' is.

"So, now that you're not with Liam, are you finally gonna let Harry get it in?" she asked casually, her face lighting up deviously when I scowled firmly at her and whooped a pillow at her.

"That is not a conversation for right now... or ever, really!"

"Oh come on, that's what friends do — they talk openly about their sex lives and laugh about it!"

"I don't wish to hear about yours, thank you, and as of right now mine is still non-existent," I told her.

Mckenzie rolled her eyes and huffed with a smile on her lips. "I'm rooting for you," she teased.

"Stop!" I squirmed, hitting her with the pillow again.

She laughed. "Poor Harry, he must be gagging for it by now. It must've been months since he last got any action."

That's something that'd never crossed my mind. Had Harry... been intimate... with other girls since I met him? I don't know why the thought made my stomach churn. "Do you... do you think?"

"Well none of us are aware of any other girls in Harry's life, so yeah, I reckon he's turned into a monk especially for you," she grinned tauntingly.

That was certainly a thought to dwell on.

Eventually, after a bit more chatting and catching up, Mckenzie pranced through my house in search of my brother and haggled herself a lift home. I had a bit of writing up from the textbook to do for law, so I got straight to doing that.

Despite it being a Tuesday night, it was late when I finally decided to get ready for bed. I knew I'd regret staying up so late when seven thirty rolled around, but I'd convinced myself I'd be fine in the spur of the moment. I used the bathroom and brushed my teeth mundanely, before plodding through the dark house back to my room. I sifted out some shorts and pulled them up my legs, next searching for a top to wear in the depths of my drawers. I seized all movement when my hands pulled out a soft, dark tshirt, and I realised it was Harry's. I thought about whether or not I should just shove it back to the bottom of the pile, but a large part of me just wanted to put it on.