Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 11

"I... Uh-" I try to speak but I'm completely lost as to what I should even say when Harry's looking at me like that. His hand stops at my chin and he watched his own slow movements as his thumb runs along my bottom lip, his own lips are parted almost mimicking mine and I can hear shallow, rhythmic breaths leaving his mouth.

I don't know why I don't just push him off me, everything about this is so wrong but I'm frozen in every way possible. His devilish smile as he stares at the movement of my lip under his thumb and the way he was touching my face has my heart beating loudly in my chest, it's pumping at a normal pace but it feels like it weighs a tonne and I think I could pass out from the intensity.

Harry leans in gradually, searching my eyes for some kind of disapproval but I don't think I show any. His eyes close and lips touch mine, delicately at first, but when I don't pull away he gains his confidence back and deepens the kiss. I can't stop myself from kissing him back, my eyes are squeezed closed and my mind is completely empty, the way his head moves to allow him to press his mouth deeper against mine and the force of his fingertips on my neck and his palm on my cheek sends a tingly feeling through my whole body and I grab his bicep to stop my knees from buckling underneath me.

His tongue finds its way into my mouth and I don't know what to do. I've never been kissed like this before, I can feel a kind of passion jumping from his body to mine like an electrical current and it's making me weak yet winding me up at the same time. I let him take the lead since I'm entirely clueless and his tongue moves around mine before he pulls away altogether, his lips attach themselves to the sensitive skin of my neck and his hand drops to rest at my waist.

As I feel the warmth of his mouth against my cold flesh and his large hand covering my hip I open my eyes and suddenly I'm brought back into reality. This is cheating. I've known this man for what seems like 5 minutes and I'm kissing him in the woods having just left my boyfriend's house. My eyebrows are drawn together with worry and regret surges through me, instantly I'm numb to what he's doing and I feel uncomfortable.

"H-Harry..." I object timidly, my voice almost not managing to make it past my throat.

Harry, however, was still so caught up in kissing me that he either didn't hear me or he just didn't choose to acknowledge I'd said anything at all. When I feel his teeth on my neck I start to panic and I know I have to stop this right now.

"Harry, stop!" I plead a lot louder and more assertive this time, not giving him the chance to decide whether he was going to comply or not as I shove at his chest to detach him from me. He stumbles backwards the tiniest amount and looks at me as if he didn't understand what he'd done wrong.

"What?" he queried, his hand diving into his hair to push the mess off of his face. His tongue snuck out and darted across his red lips which he pursed momentarily and then relaxed. Even in this moment of horror I couldn't prevent my eyes from taking in how plump and swollen his heart-shaped lips looked.

"This... this was a mistake," I convince myself, fidgeting as both of my hands shoot up to cover my cheeks and I shake my head. Harry didn't say anything, he just stood and watched me in my panicked state with a crease in between his dipped eyebrows. "Please just take me home."

He nodded and we both started walking, my legs carried me away so fast that even Harry's long legs had to take huge strides to catch up. We walked in tense silence beside each other and being the slightly awkward person I am I felt like I had to say something but I didn't know what. I spent a long moment mustering up enough words to form a sentence in my head and deciding whether or not to speak before eventually I blurted, "Do you take art?"

Harry looks across at me puzzled, probably wondering why that was the first thing I said after what'd happened. "Yeah, I do. Why?"

"You do?" I say and he nods. I don't really know what to say now so I just look down at my feet and mumble, "Cool."

"Why?" he repeats and I look back up.

"I was just wondering."

"How'd you know that?"

"My friend Mckenzie said she saw you in the art block." He looks confused again and I sense he wants me to elaborate. "She saw us talking on the first day of school and, I don't know, she just brought it up I guess."

"Why would she bring it up?"

"I don't know!" I snap but immediately feel embarrassed about it. "She just saw us talking and I guess she wondered who you were. Since she didn't know you, I suppose you were just more memorable and when she saw you she told me, that's all. I don't know."

"Right, okay..." he says suspiciously. In all honesty I don't know why Mckenzie told me about it so it's not like I was lying.

"You don't really seem like an art kind of guy."

"You don't really seem like an impetuous kind of girl, but here we are. Or rather there we were."

"Why do you always do that," I state  - with annoyance - rather than ask.

"Do what?"

"One minute you're acting all nice and the next you say something nasty."

"How was that nasty?"

"I don't know. You were just being a díck."

He laughs and then his face is neutral again. "No one's ever kissed you like that, have they?"

My cheeks flush and I pray that the darkness covers it up. I know he'll only push me for an answer if I ignore him so I shake my head. I can't bear to look at his face so I don't know how he responds but I don't hear him say anything. We continue to walk in silence again and finally make it to my house.

"Uh... thanks for... walking me home," I uttered and he just nodded again, so I quickly walked up my path and through the front door.

"Jess, is that you?" my mum called out from upstairs somewhere. "You're home late. Where were you?"

I began walking up the stairs myself and she appeared on the landing. "I was at Liam's."

It wasn't a complete lie, I was at Liam's, but only until seven and now my phone reads eight thirty.

"Oh, that's nice," she smiles, oblivious as always. "How is he? Did you have a good time?"

"Umm... yeah," I mumble, trying to get around all her questions.

I smile back as I pass her and go into my room. How am I supposed to concentrate on revision now?

----------

Please vote and comment if you read :)

Love,

E x