Better Undercover

Chapter 2: The Power of Friendship

Chapter 2: The Power of Friendship

I sat on the bench outside the school. I had no idea what happened yesterday, with the heat in my hands and the table in the alcove. The school found the table, but they had no idea who did it and said that anyone caught with matches or lighters will get suspended. But I didn't use matches or a lighter to do it, I have no idea how I did it.

I heard someone sit down beside me, Nikki. "Hey," she said.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're really quiet and you barely talked at all in school."

"I said it's nothing. And I don't that much as it is."

"I'm here for you Courtney." Then her phone buzzed. She looked at it and then turned it off and flipped the screen over.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on, it was clearly something."

"Just a group chat. Nothing major."

"With who?"

"No one important."

"Please?"

"You don't want to know"

"Oh."

"Just trust me.  Anyway, so how did track season go?"

I could see right through her idea.  "Stop trying to change the subject.  If people want me left out, that's fine."

She sighed a little.  "Look, it's not like that."

"Then please explain, because I'm dying for answers."

"I'm your friend, and there's lot of other people in the school.  Why do you keep digging at this one if it bothers you so much?"

That got me.  Was there really someone else in the school I could go to?  Was I just digging myself deeper into a mess that I sort of started?  I wasn't sure.  I knew that I had spent a while trying to change so people would like me, and that didn't work and just made me sad.

I looked around. There wasn't anyone nearby. "How about I make you a deal? If you add me to the group chat and make sure they don't kick me out, I'll tell you a secret."

"Court, it's not that easy."

"Please? It's the secret of what's bothering me."

"So there is something?"

"There's two things. I'll tell you both if you add me to the group chat.  It's not much to ask."

"You know they'll just make a new one if they're really trying to leave you out."

I nodded.  "I know.  But I need this one thing.  Please?"

She paused. "Fine." She typed something into her phone and a few seconds later my phone buzzed.  I had been added in.

"Thanks, Nikki. I'd rather hear what they're saying to my face, or through my phone, technically."

"And your secret?"

"No one in our group likes me except you. I don't know why."

"They like you!"

"Give one example when they've done something nice for me."

"When they... gave you that box of chocolates for your birthday."

"My birthday was in October. No one did anything for it, even though I had told you guys when it was."

"Oh. What about that time when we went mini-golfing before we took Winter Formal pictures?"

"What? You guys said we weren't taking pictures before."

"Oh. Um. Well, I like you. I thought you were invited and couldn't come because you were busy. Like when we went ice skating on that Friday when we had a half day of school, you said you had practice."

"I don't have practice on Fridays. I wasn't invited to that either."

"Seriously? Wow."

People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.

I don't know where I had seen that quote before. But I clenched my hands on the bench and closed my eyes, waiting for it to go away.

"Courtney? Courtney? Are you ok?" Nikki said.

I opened my eyes and looked at my hands. There were no marks. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Nikki.

"Court? Why are your eyes glowing red?" I snapped my eyes away from her and looked at the school on top of the hill. "Are you ok?"

I looked at my hands and started moving them nervously.

"I can call someone if you need me to," she said.

"No. No, please don't do that."

"Why not? Courtney, there's something wrong. I can tell."

"You can't tell anyone about this," I said. "Absolutely no one."

"Why not?"

"It's a long story, kind of. And I don't even know why it's happening."

"Please tell me. I can help you figure it out."

"I read a lot. And sometimes quotes from books I've read, or movies, or songs or anything really, pops into my head and I can't get them out. It's not like having a song stuck in your head, I can see the words, and I can't focus on anything else until the words go away. It's been happening for a while, and it gets worse when I'm really emotional or in deep though. But recently, it's been getting worse. Quotes have been in my head longer and more often, and I've been having, I guess magical powers. Like the burn marks in the alcove table. I was getting really upset that everyone was being rude to me the one morning, so I went up there to be alone, and a quote appeared. I grabbed the table and my hands burned it."

"Oh my gosh. What was the quote?"

"Doesn't matter.  It'll just make things worse," I said with a sigh.

"It's make it better if you tell me," she nagged.

"Nothing can make it better.  It's only a matter of time before something really ticks me off and I destroy the entire school," I said, finally admitting what I had known deep down all day.

Nikki didn't respond right away.  "Look, I don't know what your life was like before we met at the pool over the summer, but it's been almost two years now that we've been friends.  I want to help you, I really do.  But I can't do that unless you let me know what's going on."

She was trying to help me.  She really was.  I needed help.  But I trusted no one.  Maybe if I trusted someone it would be better.  I had to try anything to make it better.

I looked at the matching braclets on our wrists.  The heart charms were reflecting the sun.  I took a deep breath.  I needed to trust someone.

"Nothing important. Just that being around people that don't like you is even lonelier than being alone."

"Can I do anything to help?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. Just please don't tell anyone."

She gave me a hug. "I won't. I'll do anything you need me to so you can get it under control."

I had someone I could trust.  I had someone who would help me.

Maybe this would get better.