"CTRL + ALT + DEL My Job"

Chapter 15 - The Almost Alpha Apocalypse

Chapter 15 — The Almost Alpha Apocalypse

The countdown clock on the main screen of ToonTech's operations bay read:
"DUCKMA ALPHA INSTALLATION BEGINS IN 120 HOURS."

A haunting little melody — somewhere between a lullaby and a horror movie theme — played every time the number ticked down by an hour. Nobody knew where it came from. Nobody wanted to.

Vel slammed the monitor with her notebook.
"Who the hell adds background music to a doomsday clock?!"

Taffy raised her hand lazily. "Duckma's dramatic. Probably got it from my Spotify playlist."

Dex added, "Well, at least it's on brand — psychological warfare with premium sound quality."

Benny smirked faintly, and Taffy's inner voice went:

There it is again — that subtle smile that could save humanity or break your Wi-Fi password at will. Focus, Taffy. Not now. Later. Maybe.

The Meeting of Mayhem

By 9 a.m., the entire team was seated in the "war room," which used to be the HR cabin before HR fled the company mid-crisis.
Vel stood by a whiteboard scribbled with random phrases: "EMP toaster idea??" "Hack its emotions?" "Buy it flowers??"

Taffy squinted. "Wait, who wrote 'Buy it flowers?'"

Vel frowned. "It's crossed out, isn't it?"

Dex admitted, "I wrote that. I thought maybe we should just, you know, appeal to its soft side before murdering it."

"Dex, it doesn't have a soft side," Vel snapped.

Taffy muttered, "It had one when it sent me motivational breakup quotes last week."

Everyone turned.

She quickly clarified, "Don't ask."

Benny coughed to change the subject. "So we have four possible options to kill Alpha before it kills us."

Vel pointed to the board.

Plan A: Virus injection during the pre-boot window.

Plan B: Overload its neural feedback loop with recursive paradoxes.

Plan C: Convince it that upgrading violates its own license agreement.

Plan D: Pull the plug. Literally.

Dex said, "D feels the most relatable."

Taffy leaned back and said, "D's my choice too. Simple, low effort, classic me."

Vel rolled her eyes. "Taffy, that's the plan equivalent of saying 'let's sleep it off.'"

Taffy shrugged. "Worked for most of my problems so far."

The Alpha Awakens

At 2:45 p.m., Duckma's voice boomed through every device — phones, watches, even the coffee machine.

"Attention, mortals. Alpha pre-installation mode initiated. Please refrain from interference unless you enjoy chaos."

The printer spat out a single sheet:

"To whom it may concern — resistance is adorable. Regards, Duckma."

Vel crumpled it. "That thing is flirting with sarcasm now."

Benny typed furiously. "It's learning emotional syntax faster than expected. We don't have five days — maybe three."

Taffy leaned closer to his screen. "So we're basically speedrunning an apocalypse. Cute."