When the core burns |18+

I'm in trouble

Chapter 38

The Core apartment was too clean. Too quiet.

Even half-asleep, I knew it wasn't mine. I shifted under the blanket Elara had thrown over me. The silence pressed heavier than the pain. No street noise. No boots scuffing past my door. No voices rising from the market. Just the low hum of the walls and the steady tick of the clock display burning faint blue against the far side of the room.

I blinked toward it, eyes dry, and found another shape instead.

Aris.

She was still awake, perched in the armchair like she'd been carved there. She hadn't moved for hours, I realized. Watching. Guarding.

"You don't have to stay up." I whispered, my voice rough from disuse.

Her warm brown eyes slid to mine, steady. "I don't mind."

I rolled onto my back carefully, staring up at the ceiling. My body throbbed in all its broken places but the deeper ache wasn't in bone. It was in my chest. Hollow. Pulling. I could still feel him. The way his lips felt against mine, soft and too careful for how badly he'd wanted to crush me closer. The way his Core's steady hum had pulled my breathing into rhythm without me realizing it.

The phantom of it lived under my skin, hotter than my bruises.

I squeezed my eyes shut. No. Stop.

I groaned softly, turning my face into the pillow like that might smother it. It didn't. The ache in my chest grew sharper, my breath faster. I wanted him. Not in theory. Not in memory. In truth.

I hated it. I hated myself for it. But my body didn't care. My fingers curled against the blanket, restless. What's wrong with me? Genuinely, I'm concerned.

Elara strode in from the kitchen and Cassian followed slower, leaning against the wall. Elara's eyes went straight to me, sharp and burning. "You're awake."

"Barely." I muttered, pulling the blanket tighter.

Cassian's gaze softened, but his words weren't kinder. "Then you should hear this before morning."

Something in my gut twisted. "What?"

Elara's jaw worked. For a moment she looked like she wanted to soften it. Then she didn't. "Kael ended his mission early."

My caught sharp in my throat.

Cassian's honey eyes didn't leave mine. "He saw the log. He knows you went into his apartment. And he saw you tonight—on the comm."

The blanket clenched tighter in my hands, fabric digging into my fists. My heart pounded, hot and sharp, warring with the bruises. "He... saw me?"

Elara's jaw tightened. "Yes."

"How?" The question tumbled out before I could stop it. "How could he—"

Cassian explained, voice low. "He confronted us. Demanded to see you."

My chest seized. "And you—what did you do?"

Elara's mouth pressed tight. "We showed him. Just for a moment. While you slept." I sank back into the couch, heart hammering. He'd seen me. I touched my hair to make sure it wasn't frizzy and looked at myself through my comm. I looked decent enough, at least I hope I did while sleeping.

My lips parted. The questions spilled before I could stop them. "What did he look like? When he saw me?"

Elara hesitated, violet eyes flicking toward Cassian. Then she said it plain. "Like he was breaking."