Squid Game ~ Hyun-ju

11 - A promise

Her eyes lingered on the illuminated piggy bank, and she started imagining the things she could do with its content. The way she would look after using it to finally start her life.

'Hey, are you okay?' Hyun-ju finally averted her eyes from the ceiling and looked at Kyung-jun. He was so much better to look at. 'I... actually kind of am, I think,' she replied confused. He looked at the place next to her on the bed with a careful questioning expression. She padded on the mattrass and nodded, to which he sat down beside her. He didn't leave as much space as yesterday, which made her feel positively nervous. 'I mean, I feel guilty towards the others,' she continued, 'but I actually feel... confident. It's nice to do so for a change.'

'I think it's a nice change on you as well,' Kyung-jun replied carefully. 'It's nice to see you finally start believing in your own skills.' She looked at him gratefully. His eyes were warm at first, but they now changed into hesitation. 'Are you... really thinking of leaving the country?' he asked, and his voice sounded stuffed. 'I was,' she replied. 'I am.'

Kyung-jun averted his gaze and stared ahead for a while. He didn't like the thought of her leaving and being far away from him, but he didn't want to stop her living the life she wanted. He didn't say anything, because he didn't want to influence her decision. The atmosphere had grown a little tense though, and Hyun-ju wanted to try and break free from it.

'So...' she stated. 'Is it another time now?' At first he didn't seem to understand what she was talking about, but then he realised she meant the fact that he was about to tell her why he needed the money, but their conversation had got cut off because they had to play their game. 'It's really not that interesting,' he replied shrugging, 'but if you want to know...'

He looked at the ceiling for a moment, before staring ahead again. 'So after we... you know, broke off our contact,' he started, 'some guys at work started throwing annoying comments about it. At first they were relatively harmless, but after that I started to notice they were talking bad about people more often. Even about our customers. I tried to let them see that being disrespectful like that wasn't a good thing to do, but they wouldn't listen. Sometimes the customers even heard them talking, and they would get very upset and hurt.' He sighed. 'It didn't feel like a safe environment to be for neither the customers nor the employees, so I wanted to change that. Talking to my colleagues failed, so Tae-hyun and I stepped up to our boss and told him about the situation. He was furious and ashamed, because he didn't even know about it. He gave those bullies an official warning, and they weren't happy about it. Our attempt to change their behaviour backfired, and they got even worse.'

Kyung-jun bowed his head in sadness. 'They threatened Tae-hyun and me, and it all got so bad we quit. The boss had a hard time hiring new staff, as no one applied for the job, so they had to work double shifts to cover. They didn't like it, of course.'

Hyun-ju had no idea about this all. She stopped coming to the bakery not long after they had stopped talking and would only look from afar. She felt bad about not knowing he had such a hard time at work, and it only got worse when he tried to make things better. She knew how it felt to be bullied; she didn't wish it to anyone.

'I tried to just let it go and move on,' Kyung-jun continued, 'taking what has happened as the decisive factor to finally start realising my dream.'

'Owning your own bakery,' Hyun-ju said, 'in which everyone would feel welcome to be themselves.' He looked at her with a mixture of surprise and sentiment. 'Yes,' he said, all surprised. 'You remembered.'

'Of course I remember,' she stated indignantly. Like there was a chance she would ever forget. 'You talked about it so passionately. I could see the burn of desire in your eyes as you told me.' His eyes grew soft, the sadness evaporated for a second, but then he averted his gaze again and sighed.

'I didn't have enough money, so I took a loan to buy a place and to start building it. Tae-hyun helped a lot. Everything was working out pretty well, but there was still a lot to do. And then we arrived at the place one morning and found everything thrashed and broken. The glass from the windows and door were broken into a thousand pieces, all the furniture was trashed, the walls and floor too. We didn't have any cameras installed yet, and something went wrong with the insurance, too, so we weren't covered. As we were in shock about what happened, Chang-min and some of the other guys walked by and started making comments about how unfortunate this all was. We knew they had done it, but there was no proof.' Kyung-jun sighed again. 'So now I'm left with a big dept for loaning the money, and I have nothing to rebuild everything with. I'm glad I was able to protect Tae-hyun though, as I was the one to sign everything.'

'That's awful, Kyung-jun,' Hyun-ju stated, her stomach twisting. 'I hate that this happened to you.' He grimaced at her. 'Yeah, the world is unfair, right?' he replied. 'I wanted to take a stance against the bullies, but I got screwed over and they are still...' His body started shaking out of anger. He tried to focus on his breathing, but he was just too worked up.

Without thinking about it, Hyun-ju moved her hand and placed it on his, squeezing it gently. It seemed to calm him down a little. 'How much do you need?' she asked him gently. 'To pay off the loan for the building and to rebuild everything, roughly two hundred million,' he replied. She nodded. 'Maybe...' she started, again without thinking. 'Maybe after the next game, the price money will have gone up some more. If we would receive a hundred million per person, we could combine our money to rebuild the place.'

All sorts of things flashed through his eyes: confusion, sadness, warmth, surprise...

'No,' he immediately stated. His tone sounded harsh, but his eyes were soft. 'Absolutely not. I'm not taking your money.'

'I can lend it to you,' she replied, 'without interest.'

'No,' he repeated. 'You can't be serious.'

'Why not?' she wanted to know.

'You're not going to give me even a cent,' he stated sternly. 'You're going to earn enough money to get through your transition, and if it won't be after the next game, I will help you reach the goal. I don't want you to delay it even a second longer.'

His words confused her. Her transition was everything she thought of for the past few weeks. It was the sole thing that would keep her going, her desire to start living. So why did she offer him the money? Because she couldn't stand to see him hurt. Because she wanted to do everything in her power to make him happy. Because he was a good person. She meant it when she offered him. She was really willing to postpone her transition to help him, just as he was willing to postpone rebuilding his dream to help her start living.

She had never been treated like she mattered most to anyone. People had just used her like a doormat when she told them who she really was. She had always put everything aside to help others, and now, for this one time, someone else was willing to put her first.

Kyung-jun hesitated a lot, but in the end he slowly reached out his free hand to her face, taking her cheek in his fingertips very gently. His touch was superficial, but she still felt her blood pumping more rapidly, her cheek tingling. His eyes were the softest she had ever seen as he smiled at her. She had never been handled with such care.

'The bakery can wait,' he told her softly. 'You are more important. I'm going to help you live like you want to, and what happens next, I'll see later.' She forgot how to use her muscles, but if she could, she would shake her head. 'I am,' he said firmly. 'I promise.'

For the first time since forever, Hyun-ju could picture her future. She would feel like a proper woman and would walk into his bakery confidently. Whether this would never be more than just a fantasy she didn't know, but she vowed to herself to make it a reality.

Even after he had withdrawn his hand and averted his gaze shyly, Hyun-ju still felt her cheek tingling.