A Path That's Right for Me

Flutter

A gentle kiss was pressed against Roman's head. "You know I would never leave you like that."

"I know. I guess it just really got to me that you weren't there when I woke up. I've... gotten used to sharing a bed with you. It didn't feel right that you weren't with me."

Jensen didn't say anything. Instead, his free hand settled on Roman's thigh to act as a grounding weight. Additional kisses were peppered along his temple, cheek, and jaw. He was pulled in even closer to sit directly on Jensen's lap. The change in position made it easier for Roman to be embraced.

Or treasured, as he saw it.

Roman couldn't remember a moment where he didn't feel safe in Jensen's arms.

Roman... never wanted to leave them.

"Jay. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, sweetheart."

"It might be a little much."

Jensen shook his head, smoothing his fingers along the back of his gifted necklace. "When it comes to you, nothing is too much."

Roman took a long sip of his slightly too hot tea. The cup was placed next to the dishes sitting on the glass table. He busied himself by fiddling with his fingers, trying to ask a question he'd gotten several answers to.

It was a little different to ask Jensen directly. Roman's curiosity, as well as his own desire to see things clearer, grew every day, however.

He wanted to know...

"When did you realize you had legitimate feelings for me? And when did you realize that 'like' wasn't the appropriate term to use anymore?"

Roman's thigh was tapped to get his attention. He turned toward Jensen to show he was listening.

Jensen glanced between bright blue eyes in silence. He let out a quiet hum. His focus darted below eye level, settling on Roman's lips. Jensen's eyes flitted back up to show he was comfortable having that conversation. He also desired to prove how he had nothing to hide in terms of his romantic attachment.

"You pulled me in the very first time we met each other. I was initially intrigued when I saw you and Kay at the store together. I thought I'd be polite by introducing myself. But as soon as you turned around, and I got to see you completely... it felt like the world stopped. I know that you share a lot of features with Kay and the kids, but there was just something so unique about you. I thought you were... really, really handsome. And as embarrassing as it was, I did gush to my grandma about how pretty you were.

"Our first family dinner together gave me a bit of a taste in terms of how you were as a person. Right off the bat, I knew I wanted to start a friendship. When we started hanging out more, and you started opening up more to me, I felt so happy. And comfortable. 

"I realized things were taking more of a serious turn the night you confessed about how bad your parents were to you. Seeing you so upset and thinking I didn't understand- it broke my heart. I wanted to do whatever I could to get you out of that dark place. Then the Maple Bay Halloween Festival came, and I was able to make you smile the brightest I'd ever seen. I knew then that I didn't just like you as a friend."

Roman remembered that moment with intense clarity: when he and Jensen spoke while standing on the boardwalk, waiting for the fireworks to start. Jensen had been so honest about how much he adored Roman's smile. Meanwhile, Roman — he'd been so enchanted by Jensen's words, he could only stare in captivation, even after the sky illuminated with dazzling, sparkling colors.

Roman was pretty sure that night was when a certain little flame came to life in his heart too.

Jensen went on to say, "We continued to grow and get closer as the months went on. Then we started getting physical with each other, and it actually caught me off guard. Not because I was scared, but because doing those things with you, even though I'd never done so with anyone else- I'd never felt more safe. More... more open.

"I knew I was in deep when you got sick. When you had that breakdown in the bathroom and just kept apologizing for thinking you did something wrong by freaking out. I... never want to see you like that again. I don't ever want to see you in that type of pain again. It hurt so bad to see you so scared. I was ready to do anything to make sure you were okay. That you always felt safe with me.

"I realized 'like' became 'love' after I came home the night Rachel made her first appearance. When you said she hurt you- when I saw your bruises. When you let yourself cry because you knew you felt protected with me.

"I realized I was in love because all of the anger and negativity and grief went silent the moment I had you in my arms. The moment I felt your heart beating against mine. And when we fell into bed for the first time together that night, I- I knew there was no going back for me. You letting down your walls and exposing yourself in every way possible- it made me feel... alive. Like I'd found a home in someone. Like I'd finally found the missing piece to a puzzle I could never complete.

"I realized I was in love with you when the thought of having a simple, beautiful, fulfilling life... meant having you with me through every part of it. No matter how good or bad. No matter how exciting or bleak. All I wanted, more than anything, was-"

"To be with you," Roman finished, his voice thick with emotion.

Jensen's eyes widened by a tiny fraction. He swallowed, lips parting in the middle. His breathing became more labored, and his heart began to race.

"Yeah. To- to be with you."

Roman's lips were on Jensen's before either of them knew what was happening.

The raw, unexpected nature of their kiss pushed both men to react without restraint.

Roman's hands cupped either of Jensen's cheeks to pull him closer. One of those hands slipped into his hair, purposefully tugging to make him shiver. The needy whine which slipped out of him was enough for Roman to shift himself until he was straddling Jensen's lap.

The change presented Jensen with the opportunity to sneak his starving touch beneath Roman's shirt. Jensen didn't travel too high since it was chilly out, but he let his hands wander enough to send a clear message:

Jensen loved, cherished, and wanted Roman with every fiber of his being.

Neither of them tried to initiate anything beyond kissing. They did, however, allow themselves to further melt into each other until they were nothing more than tangled limbs and hungry kisses.

Roman wasn't confident enough to say that little three word phrase out loud yet.

But his heart...

Oh, his heart sang.