Fallen

Chapter 10 (Cadi's POV)

Ok ok ... I'm sorry for not updating in forever... please don't be mad at me Dx I'll try and update extra to make up for it ;) Here's a picture of Cadi's new hair style! ^^ Okay fine ... the pic's a bit of a spoiler ... .-. But oh well xD

IMPORTANT A/N AT THE END. READ.

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He slides the knife across my chest tauntingly, ripping two deep cuts into my breasts. Thankfully my top's still on, though it's in rags; my face is a bloody mess, my arms and legs carved like a piece of meat. I can't stand. Still they're torturing me.

I scream in vain for Andres. Though this time, he doesn't come. I know that he's not going to come. So I look into my torturers eyes and plead them for mercy instead ... they give it to me.

They slit my throat in one neat gesture, and I'm-

I wake up, heart pounding, though I don't dare open my eyes. Fear and guilt keep me from doing that.

I know I'm in Andres' bed already, though, his familiar scent washing over me. I'm in one of his shirts again, my hip neatly bandaged. I feel like a horrible person - he's actually taken the time to look after me, even though I abandoned him like I was practically nothing. Guilt curdles in my gut and I feel like I'm about to throw up. I turn around and hit a brick wall ... wait, what? I open my eyes and see I simply hit Andres' chest. I've been curled up against him all night. My eyes widen. I feel like even more of a disgusting person now.

The way I treated him, yet he still shares a bed with me, not minding at all, as if it's nothing. As if I don't revolt him. Most guys would shudder at the thought of lying next to me, yet he does, even after the way I've treated him. Is this really what angels consider wrong? When a person pleads for money and food, you should give, right? So what happens when a person pleads for your love? Does their money or race or occupation make it wrong to give in this situation?

Yep. Apparently it does.

I check the small clock by his bed. It's a little past 4 o'clock. I roll my eyes at my own awkwardness - I can't even get up at the right time - and go to the bathroom, trying to ignore the throbbing of my hip every time I take a step.

I shower quietly, not wanting to wake him up, and then pause at something at the small silver basin he brushes his teeth in. It's pitiful compared to the great marble statuette of a sink we have at home,  but somehow I prefer it. I mean, I'm not the sort of grand majestic girl who looks beautiful lounging on a solid gold throne, eating grapes dipped in honey.

I don't look beautiful no matter what, but that's barely relevant.

I look at the instrument by the basin, and something rises in my throat. An idea which would shock my family, repulse my mother, and, if I actually managed to carry it out, be gossiped about by the entire Angel community for weeks. (In private, of course. Gossiping is a sin, though one that basically everyone did.) But I'm no angel. It's obvious now. 

Fate doesn't want me to be one. And I'm tired of fighting Fate.

The fact that I don't have china flawless skin or pale blonde perfect hair or bright blue, long lashed eyes and delicate features and a slim, petite figure.

Or that I get chased by wolves and hunted by robbers and tortured by murderers and rescued by demons. 

So I grab them.

The scissors. 

And I shake my hair so it's over my shoulders.
And I get ready to cut it.

First I cut it so it's shoulder-length, but that just emphasizes the chubbiness of my face, so I cut it jaw-length. But that just looks like I'm copying Margaret, a girl from home; with her slanted eyes, high cheekbones and long nose, the jaw-length bob looked fantastic on her. It doesn't look so fantastic on me. So I go even shorter.

I look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing one of Andres' shirts, disguising my figure, so I look almost slim. My eyes are smudged around from black, mainly from lack of sleep, but it looks almost deliberate. For some reason it makes my eyes a lot more grey than blue. I look new. Different. My cropped hairstyle has made me look like a sexy exotic woman, rather than a stammering awkward girl.

However, inside, I know I'm still a stammering awkward girl. But I think I'm going to try and become a better version of myself. Muster the courage from somewhere to be something better.

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Kind of a boring filler chapter, though I promise lots of action in the chapters to come! So what do you think of Cadi's new hairstyle? And her decision to make herself something 'better'? Which path do you think this will take her on? (No spoilers from people who have read Wingless...)

OKAY. THIS IS THE IMPORTANT BIT ...

Wingless is a romance story. (The main ship is Celueste, but anyway). However, 'Fallen' is not. I decided to write Fallen because Cadi's character interested me and I felt that Wingless didn't make sense. There were gaps in the story. Fallen is not only an explanation, but the "main" story. In a way Wingless is just a small book going deeper into Lues and Celeste's relationship, meaning it's entirely romance based. Fallen is about Cadi. It's about her life, and her romance might not end happily. Cadi, unlike Celeste, is a very independent girl (I imagine her as a feminist) and once she comes out of her shell she won't need Andres. She might love him, but she won't need him.
So this story is not entirely based on romance. Ok. Thanks for reading my long and boring rant Dx