These Are My Confessions

These Are My Confessions (7):

It's always easier to lie to yourself in the morning. To hide your pain from everyone else when reality you know that you're hurting. My relationship with Aiyden isn't healthy and I know this but, I can't escape him. Every time I work up enough courage to leave something tells me to stay. I've never been the type of person to get up and walk away but, I need to learn when to. I've learned there is a fine line between love and regret. Truthfully the only reason I put up with him is the simple fact that I can't have another death lingering over my shoulders. If we were to break up and he would die I wouldn't be able to cope.

I took a Valium before stepping into my therapist's office. I sat down on the sofa sitting my Michael Kors bag right beside me.

"Hello Robyn, how are you doing this afternoon?"

"I'm good Mrs. Simmons what about yourself?"

"I wonderful thanks for asking." She took a sip from his coffee cup then crossed her leg. "Have you been having those nightmares lately?"

"I still have them every once in a while but they aren't as frequent. I have been having other nightmares though." She jotted my words on her legal pad.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I have this dream where my life is practically a living hell. That I'm trapped and the only way out is to end it."

"Well it seems to me that there is something weighing heavy on your heart."

"You don't even know the half of it." I mumbled.

"Have you been taking my advice by going out and meeting new people?" I nodded my head.

"His name is Aiyden. We have been dating for about two months now. I really care about him, believe me I do but, I fear he's going to be the death of me."

"Why do you say that?"
"He's my addiction. Every time I want to leave him I can't because I'm afraid of the outcome. He can me feel on cloud nine one minute but, pain the next. It's suffocating." She looked over at the clock on the wall.

"Since we only have about a minute left I want you to try this exercise. Pack your bags and go to place where you feel safest. Don't let anyone know where you are going. Just turn your phone off for a couple days and relax."

"Thank you." I got up from the couch and squeezed her. I hopped in my car taking off to work. I sat in traffic thinking about Mrs. Taylor's words. What I need is some air to clear my head. I went inside my office collecting the things I may need. My phone started ringing in my back pocket I pulled it and read Aiyden across the screen. I pressed end call and he immediately started calling back. I turned off my phone and began packing. I walked into the Monica's office where she was typing up a memo.

"Moni I need a favor from you."

"Shoot." She looked up from the computer.

"I'm taking a brief vacation so I won't be back for a couple days. I want you to transfer my cases for the next two weeks to Riley unless you think you can handle it. Also don't transfer any calls to me unless it involves family or it's an extreme emergency."

"I got it. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I just need a break. I'll text you when I get to my destination." I said while pushing hair behind my ear.

"Well I love you be safe."

"I love you more." She got up from her desk holding me in her embrace. We stayed like this until the office phone rang.

"This Monica, Robyn Jones assistant how may I help you?" She put the phone on mute. "It's Aiyden." I shook my head no. "I'm sorry Ms. Jones isn't available at the moment." She hung up the phone.

"Thank you." I let out a sigh of relief. I picked up my bag along with my brief case. I looked over at the clock it was coming on three and I know Aiyden comes home at five. I rushed out the building doing seventy on the freeway. I was grateful when I came home to an empty driveway. I went straight to the back grabbing all things I could possibly need. I restocked everything to make it look like I never left. Lastly I grabbed clothes from the back of my walk in closet. I ran to the front of the house grabbing my keys. I speed out the neighborhood going to the one place I know no one would expect me to be. I knocked on the door waiting for them to answer.

"Robyn?"
Lol sorry if you saw chapter eight already I'm such a doorknob. O'well we live and learn. I will report it again in two days. Sorry for the inconvenience😩😒