Off Script (Horizon, #1)

Chapter 5: Before 1 PM

"Of course not, honey." He leans forward, closer to my scowling face. "Siningit ko lang talaga 'tong lunch natin. May i-sho-shoot pa kaming eksena mamayang gabi. I should arrive on time if I leave before 1 PM."

"You just flew to Manila from Cebu, then drove here for, what, four hours? Hindi ka na nga natulog!" inis kong katwiran, pero wala siyang ibang ginawa kundi subukan akong pakalmahin.

Tahimik naming tinapos ang pagkain, saka ko siya niyayang lumabas. Pag-check ko sa orasan ay alas onse y media na. I've got an hour and thirty minutes with him—kasintagal lang ng flight niya pabalik sa Cebu.

HIndi ko alam kung masama lang ang loob ko o pati pakiramdam ko rin. Nawalan na ako ng ganang kumain kanina kahit sobrang sarap ng ulam. Inubos ko pa rin at d-in-istract ang sarili.

All I remember doing is putting a calm mask on, pretending that my heart didn't break a little.

Dahil hindi kalayuan ang SM at doon din naka-park ang kotse niya, naisipan naming tumambay ni Ivan sa terrace. The cold pierces through our coats, and we both shiver a little. Parehas kaming hindi sanay sa klima.

"I heard he's here, too," he starts after buying us coffee.

Binatuhan ko siya ng masamang tingin. "You're seriously talking about Nathan now? I have less than two hours left with you! Kailan pa ulit kita makikita after this?!"

"It's coming from a place of concern."

Bago ko mapigilan ay natarayan ko na siya. "Bullshit, Ivan. I don't need your concern right now, I need you. At least tell me about your day. Or what's up at work. What you last ate on set." Saglit akong tumigil para habulin ang hininga. I'm getting too worked up. "You don't...you don't even message me anymore. I would've accepted even a bland 'I had a great day', dammit."

"Busy nga kasi ako lagi. Are you blaming me for the schedule I didn't make?"

"N-no!" nauutal kong sabi. "Pero hindi naman ata tama 'yong ganito. Mas madalas kang walang paramdam. I doubt you'd have thought of calling me last week if it weren't for the news—"

"Because I don't like him around you! Oh ano, hindi ka pa satisfied sa sagot ko? Do you want me to pin the blame on you instead? Ilang beses na kitang sinabihan na 'wag siyang dikitan and you never listen!"

"Bakit ba ako sinisisi mo? I wasn't the one who approached first! He f*cking gatecrashed the presscon!"

"You're damn smart with the excuses!"

I flinch when his shouts louder, angrier, but he doesn't notice it. If he did, he couldn't possibly care less. "And would you please stop insisting on the frequent updates? Ikamamatay mo ba kapag hindi ako nag-text? Good gods, Ace, if your world is revolving around me, you better stop that!"

"I have a life of my own! I..." my voice fails to garner enough strength. My stomach turns, twisting my insides, my heart. "I just wish I could feel your presence in it."

Ang dami ko pang gustong sabihin, pero nauna nang bumagsak ang mga luha ko bago makabalik ang boses ko.

Noon lang natauhan si Ivan. Napansin ko pa kung paano nanlambot ang titig niya sa 'kin, na para bang nahatak siya pabalik sa reyalidad.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Get away from me."

"I'm sorry, Ace. I didn't know you felt that way." Ilang ulit niya pa 'yong sinabi habang kinukulong ako sa mga braso niya. "I'm sorry for not showing up enough," aniya.

But I pull away, wiping the tears that fall relentlessly. "Doesn't matter."

"It does."

"No, for you, it doesn't," naiiyak kong sagot. "Don't f*cking lie to me."