In My Way

Chapter Two

Grayson

I knew a boy named Jace Mallers. I had the misfortune of being close to him, alphabetically. My name is Grayson Lancer. Because of my last name, I was always seated next to him in high school.

At the beginning of junior year, they had us dissect a fetal pig. The whole class was sickened, taken aback that at this day in age, we were still required to do these grotesque experiments. But Jace was unemotional about it, going above and beyond to study parts of the pig that were unassigned.

At the time, I didn't think anything of it. We worked in a group of four for a week during that class. At the end of our research, we were instructed to clean and dispose of our subjects in the proper way. Example being, not to pour the liquid that came from the subject into the sink as it contained formaldehyde, bones, and blood, then to throw the rest in individual trash bags for the teacher to dispose of.

Our station did as we were told, trying to get rid of the subjects as soon as we could. Jace, however, had a fascination with the red substance sitting in the beaker from our assignment. He held it up to his face, smelling it with furrowed brows, giving no other reaction.

I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to understand what he was doing. After a moment of realization that a majority of the class, aside from the teacher, had his attention, Jace asked, "How much would you give me to drink this?"

My stomach convulsed at the thought of it sitting next to me, let alone going down someone's throat. I shook my head at the brown haired boy only feet from me. Not only was he making an ass of himself, but it was incredibly stupid of him. I was sure the contents in that glass had the ability to kill him.

"You're not gonna do it," Kyle, one of the students at my station shot out.

"Yeah, there's no fucking way," another chimed in.

"I mean, I'll give you like, $5. But you have to down it," one of Jace's friends laughed, his tone low and slow like he had just smoked before class. I turned in his direction, scolding him for supporting this instead of telling Jace not to do something this asinine. That was supposed to be his friend. Apparently, I cared more about what happened to Jace than the people he decided to spend his time around. 

"$5 man, are you serious? Look at this thing, I'm not doing that for $5," he lifted the beaker and pointed to the top, accentuating the amount he would have to drink and rolling his eyes.

"I mean, I'll give you $20 if you really do it," Kyle shrugged and pulled out his wallet. I wanted to slap him in the shoulder but all I could do was widen my eyes. All of this excitement over something so disgusting.

"What about another $20? Who's got another twenty?" Jace asked, trying to wrack up his money, looking around the room. He sounded like an auctioneer on one of those old TV shows, trying to sell old and out of date items that were probably worth more at a thrift store.

"I do," Shannon said from next to me. This time, I did bump her shoulder.

"Why would you say that?" I asked her, clearly irritated. She just shrugged and looked up at him with bright brown eyes.

"I mean, I'll put in another $10 but you seriously have to drink the whole thing, dude," a boy I knew to be Adam with curly red hair, piped up from across the room.

"Alright, put your money on the table. I want to see everyone's money," Jace instructed them, biting his lip as he watched. They did as they were told, pulling crumbled pieces of money from their pockets and backpacks. Jace paused, looking down at the two crinkled twenty dollar bills and the two crisp fives. There was something hidden behind his eyes. He was exhilarated to have this much attention all at once, "Keep your money."

The portion of the class that was watching him threw their hands up saying different versions of, "I knew he wouldn't do it." Sounds of disappointment filling the room. Humor flashed across Jace's face, like he knew something they didn't. A secret he was keeping inside that he couldn't wait to get out.

"I'll drink it for free," my hand covered my mouth as he said it, both the stench and the scene in front of me making me sick. 

"No you won't," one student snickered, goading him.

Jace paused for a moment, studying the substance with a shit-eating grin. The next thing I knew, he was swallowing the entire beaker filled with the liquid remains of the assignment. I had to turn away from him, only hearing the obnoxious gulping sound he was making and the loud reactions of my fellow classmates. 

My stomach twisted and turned. I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing, trying to drown everyone else out. I had to lean on the table beside me to steady myself. When I turned back, the glass was empty with a red film covering the inside, proof that he did in fact drink it.

"That was awesome!" Shannon exclaimed, making Jace's blue eyes light up, that same smile on his face.

I remember being focused on getting out of there as soon as we cleaned our station, the repulsive memory forever burned into my head. Thinking back on it now, I wish I would have said something to him then. Anything to make him understand that the next two years of our lives would change from this very moment.

I heard footsteps behind me after the bell rang, signaling that class was over.

"What did you think?" Jace's voice came from beside me. I wasn't sure if I was being paranoid because of what I'd just witnessed or if it was real, but I could still smell the remnants of the substance drifting toward me.

"About what?" I tried to sound nonchalant, staring down the hallway in front of me.

"Oh, come on. About me," he chuckled, clutching his blue binder under his arm.

My eyes met his, they were so beautiful but at the time I was too conceited to see how much he hid behind them. I always thought he was handsome, the way his hair laid across the left side of his face, but the person underneath was utterly revolting to me. I had seen him at his worst in this prison called high school, and I was afraid.

"I don't think anything," I shook my head, trying to find the most diplomatic answer as to not upset nor enable him. 

I didn't realize that he fed off of the attention, which would have explained that it was something he lacked in other aspects of his life. He was compensating for the things he'd never had. I regret a lot of things from that time in my life, but one of my biggest regrets was not even trying to understand him. In that moment, as those words left my lips, I watched something change in him because every day from that point on, he tried to break me.