That's What She Said

What a peetiful day

It took three Jell-O shots, a pack of Mountain Dew and a slice of six day old pizza I found in my bedroom, for me to regret everything I've ever done.

But here I was, hiding in manicured bushes and lush carpet grass beneath my feet as I waited for cars to pass.

This was a huge mistake.

How could I survive five minutes in here, much less an hour? Everything was maintained to perfection, the streets black and paved rather than dirt roads back home. The houses loomed high with their own iron gates and water peeing figurines. And as I slipped through the greenery, I could see the tops of skyscrapers grazing the clouds, city lights blaring around in in a dizzying array that had me breathless. Fucking hell, these people even dressed their poodles.

Some people in Trash were desperate enough to eat poodles; with extra BBQ of course. The only dressing they would use.

People walked by, immaculately dressed in dresses of the latest fashion and men in suits and carrying briefcases. Girls wore sky high stilletos, cells to their ears and usually arm in arm with a young man.

They were clean, too clean. The things they would wear would cost me my house, which was basically a bathroom for these guys.

And I hated it.

Jealousy burned in my gut, probably due to alcohol, but the humiliation that Golds were so much better, so much wealthier and everything they did was with pristine ability. They had opportunity.

To think I wore my best outfit for this, my Sunday things. Leggings and a long white shirt that said Dildos Do It Better. I couldn't afford dresses that beautiful and less trash talk. However, I was most likely dirt smudged and grass stained from hiding in the bushes. I could wait here, for an hour. I doubted these girls knew what a dildo was, anyway.

My stomach churned uncomfortably as I realized something stupid. I really really really really needed to pee, considering I drank so much alcohol in one sitting.  Clenching my thighs together, I wriggled out from underneath the bushes and straightened. No one looked at the lonely stretch of green on the side of the road, where the gates were located, and where I had climbed. This was the blind spot that we had found, where no cameras zoomed by, or any guards. They just thought that Trash wouldn't be stupid enough to cross over.

I was so stupid.

And frigging chocolate god I really needed to pee. And I couldn't squat in the bushes. I was aware that there were sensors in the grass, and if I sent a foreign liquid on the carpet grass, the police would come and take me away for disrupting the peace and I'd be locked up forever.

For peeing on a bush.

A pretty bush, but whatever.

Swearing under my breath, I reached for the walkie talking in my bag. "Cam," I said, pressing the button. There was silence, before a click and garbled speaking.

"Cam!" I hissed, trying again.

Finally, a voice came through. "What's going on?"

"I need to pee. Badly."

"Seriously? Pee on a bush!"

"That's what I tried but I read the warning and I don't wanna go to jail and live a lonely life and die for peeing on a bush!" I cried. Without de-virginizing myself to Luke?

Cam didn't reply for a moment, and I grew angsty, waddling to the end of the green bushes that hid me from pedestrians. Houses were on the other side... I could go to a house, right? Or maybe there were public bathrooms.