It's been a month later since that Jorge died. I still can't believe it. It seems unreal but I know it is real.
I lay on my bed with tissues around me and in my hands. I didn't go to school for a month and I'm crying all day long. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't go to outside, I don't invite friends, I drink only once a day, I don't shower. I only cry and lay in bed. My dad is worried about me, what I totally understand, and called the doctor a few days. He said I am in depression. Wauw. Okay I may be ceying all day and don't do all those things I just said but I am not in depression.
For the first time, since a month ago, I walk down the stairs and go sit on the counch. I see that my parents are still in bed and decide to go to eat something. You only see my bones... I know it sounds scary but it isn't that bad... I make some cornflakes with milk and eat it. It doesn't taste at all but I have to eat it from myself. When I am finished, I let it on the table, and grab a blanket and pull it over to my chin. For the first time I grab my phone and read my messages and answer them. When I've deleted all my messages, I see the concersation from Jorge and me. I don't delete it and going to cry again. When I am asleep I have a dream about him...
Dream:
Jorge and I are in the Studio. He walks to me and put his hand on my cheek and says: "Don't worry about me. I am okay now, go on with your life! I know you will still love me and care about me but you have to go on with your life. Do it for me, for you parents, for your brother." Then he looks at me and says: "Tini? Tini? Tini? Tini??!!!!"
I wake up from a shock and see that it is my brother. "Tini?! How are you??"
I frowns and look at him and realize it is Fran, my lovely brother.
I go to sit and grab my hair.
"I... I wanted to go eat something. After that I was to lay on the couch and fall asleep after I read all my messages and the message from Jorge and me. Then I had a dream about..." I stop with talking because I feel that I have to cry. "About?" My brother ask. I know he knows that I dreamed about Jorge but he wants me to say it. "Him.. Jorge.. he said that I ahve to move on with my life and that he knows that even when I do that, he knows I'm still loving him and care about him." I say with a sight. My brother comes to lay next to me and we are huggimg for a really long time.
