Dearest, In My Memories | JAECHAN

two.

Dear Jaeyoon,

9:47 A.M. - It hasn't even been two days since your return, and work has already pulled at your strings and tore you away from my embrace. I feel sluggish, all alone in this house of ours. This house called home. Our home.

We bought this two years ago, do you remember that?

We had been dating for two years then, and you said it was time to take it up a notch to see where things would go. And I agreed.

11:05 A.M. - I can't stop thinking about the first moment I realized I had feelings for you.

I found love within your gaze, upon the moment the sun dipped its rays into your irises and made it honey-like. We had been sitting outside a cafe, catching up on what had been going on with our lives since we had a slight drift. As everyone else in the friend group did. (Well, I guess not everyone. We had our little cliques: you, Youngbin, and Inseong; Juho, Sanghyuk, and Seokwoo; Taeyang, Hwiyoung, and I.)

I remember placing my right palm on the table while my chin was propped on my left. I can faintly remember the sounds of the city of that day: the numerous car beeps of impatient drivers. The chirping of birds who flew from tree to tree, nestling soon in their nests and gossiped with their families. The voices of people-jumbled up nonsense. And the sound of your laugh.

And that's, that's when I felt your gentle graze against my hand, your thumb softly resting on mine. And I faced you, Jaeyoon. And that's when I melted at the sight of your smile, feeling the blood rush to the shell of my ears. Which you just had to point out!

"Wait... are you getting embarrassed right now?" You asked me.

"Wh- no! It's just hot!" I scoffed, furrowing my eyebrows. I had tried to yank my hand away from yours, but your fingers curled around it, keeping it in place.

"Is your hand smaller than mine?"

We compared hand sizes... you were right. And before we parted ways that day, you gave me a hug, your lips slightly brushing by my ear as you whispered, "Your hands fit perfectly against my own..."

Just thinking about it. Jaeyoon, the hold you have on me. You, you have no idea.

I can't even hold this pencil right without the need to let it drop to cower behind my hands, conceal my reddening cheeks. Ahh!

1:01 P.M. - I'll be pleased to inform you that, ahem, I have calmed down. I wonder when you first realized you liked me. I know you've told me, my memory is just not the brightest. And I know you'll fight with me on this! I just happen to remember at the most spontaneous of times. Oh! You texted me asking me what I ate for lunch!

1:37 P.M. - I really have to get around to asking Youngbin for a part time job for the time being. I may be going a little insane moving around our home. It'd do me good having some time outside of the house too.

I was happy to hear how much you missed my food, how your heart was so full and content with how much you ate and savored.

I missed making lunch for you, too. But if I get a job, I'd have to make lunch for the two of us! Unless... I make yours, and you make mine?

Oh! That's Seokwoo calling...

4:52 P.M. - I went out for a few hours. Seokwoo is having a little trouble with Juho lately, which I had hoped would've been sorted out, but the acquaintance isn't being helpful.

I'm not sure if you've been in the loop, but Seokwoo and Juho have been having a little miscommunication. This being because Juho has feelings for him, and Seokwoo - who likes him back - had a little incident where an acquaintance edited his little recital... or his practice of how he'd tell Juho he felt the same.

You're probably wondering what I mean by edited. I'll tell you later tonight once you're home, Jae.

5:57 P.M. - Shit! I took a nap when I'm supposed to be heating up yesterday's leftovers for our dinner. I hope you won't mind partially cold potatoes? Kidding! Kidding!

I love you,

Chanhee

P.S. I hope you're bringing ice cream like you said you would... it's on sight if you don't! Just kidding... it'll be okay! Or will it...