Dearest, In My Memories | JAECHAN

four.

Dear Jaeyoon,

3:00 A.M. — You're starting to worry about me after you woke me up at 2:30 A.M., going crazy about how you're going to be late for work. Please let me know what's wrong. (You didn't address my questions of concern from the previous letter, I just want to know if you're okay. What's keeping you up at night?)

I'm currently at your side on your bed. We have our rule, but for you, I'd break them all to be at your side any chance I have. Just please remember, you have me.

8:37 A.M. — You left for work without a kiss goodbye, leaving me peacefully asleep on your bed. I wanted to make you breakfast, but I saw your dirty dishes tossed in the sink, a small coffee spill on the counter. You woke up late. I usually have an alarm to wake you up, which I use to wake you up. (Yes, I love my sleep, but for you, I get up in the morning to bid you goodbye and make sure you eat enough to start your day.)

Did you turn off my alarm?

9:29 A.M. — I told you I was starting on Tuesday at Youngbin's, but he called me and told me I can start today at 10! I'm excited. I hope this lessens some of your stress when it comes to bills and all that because I really do want to help you with anything I can.

12:01 P.M. — I got a little fifteen minute break, and man, I didn't realize how busy a bakery can be. I'm on dough duty, which is exactly what it is - no other task to it. Apparently it's the easiest. Definitely the toughest on my hands and arms though cause jeez! It's a workout.

I haven't worked out in awhile, I realize. I want to get back to it.

I remember that's one of the first few activities we did when we started reconnecting again. We would hit the gym together, being each other's buddies. Ah... thinking about it is reminding me of that one time...

I wonder if you remember it. If you don't, then I'll write a little bit to jog your memory...

We were in the showers, just us. We were like the only ones left at the gym too.

The water ran along my body, taking down the sweat from how much we had worked out. My hair had completely flattened, so I was about to run my hand through it to slick it back, I heard the curtain behind me swish and close.

And of course, I faced back quickly, my breath trapped as I had met eyes with you.

Let's see if you remember the aftermath, silly.

Ah, I need to eat my lunch, I have 7 minutes left. I spent so long thinking how or what to even write regarding that memory, aah. I made myself a nice egg sandwich for lunch and packed some fruit and veggies, too. I wonder if you made yourself lunch... I hope you did.

I'll write to you later.

5:28 P.M. — In the bathroom, and man! I am pooped. (Not literally... crap, wait- y'know what! Moving on!) My arms are starting to feel so stiff, I definitely think this is a sign to work out again. I feel myself out of shape, especially at the arms since I hardly use them now. I have to say though, I like this job. Sure, I may not be a manager like Youngbin - which I have to say, he is so sweet and helpful to his employees. I can see the joy he has while working alongside them and creating a comfortable environment.

I want to be like Youngbin when I'm old like him- wait, did I just indirectly call you old... since you're around his age. Shoot! Uhm. Disregard! I can't erase it because I need to get out of the stall now, aah.

6:01 P.M. — Was that you who called Youngbin? It sounded like your voice.

7:59 P.M. — Youngbin's giving me a ride home. He's giving me a side eye as I clutch this notebook close to me to try to write coherently as the car moves. I have to admit, being a baker is busy work, but I like the sense of community that Youngbin has created in this little, cozy shop. I know I said it'd be temporary as I applied to other places, but a part of me wants to stay here.

The pay is actually pretty decent, and it goes up depending on how long I work here. And I already get along really well with the other people who work here! I owe it to Youngbin really. He mentored me with every little bit, and then his main helper also helped me adjust and learn. Tomorrow, I'm on decorating duty too. I feel that's going to be hard, messy too. But I'll put my all into it.

Youngbin says hi. He said I might as well include his greeting if I'm writing about him. Silly Bin.

You already got out of work. Since like, two hours ago. I wonder if you had lunch. You didn't answer my message, yet you called Youngbin... I'll have to ask you tonight unless you tell me before I ask you. I wonder if you've made dinner... or brought me the ice cream for that matter. (Although I can probably buy it myself, so don't stress out about it too much, Jae.)

Can't wait to see you. I'm going to stop writing since it's hard to do so in a moving car, ack!

Starting to feel hungry and missing you,

Chanhee