Fated by 'I Do'

Chapter 28 : Insecure and unworthy

Jungkook glanced down at his own outfit an all-black t-shirt, relaxed pants, and a bucket hat. He felt like he had reverted to being a college kid, even though he was 24. The contrast between him and them made him acutely aware of his own insecurities. Taehyung and Seoyeon worked together effortlessly, their chemistry palpable as they collaborated on some project, shoulders brushing against each other as they discussed details.

Jungkook tried to shake off the feeling, but doubt crept in. What if Taehyung found Seoyeon more appealing than him? He couldn't help but compare himself to her she was poised, elegant, and had this refined aura that he felt he lacked. Jungkook's heart sank a little as he realized how often he found himself feeling inadequate, especially when he was in the presence of someone as accomplished as Seoyeon.

"Hey, are you even listening?" One of his friends nudged him, pulling him back to reality. Jungkook forced a smile but his gaze was still fixated on Taehyung and Seoyeon. The laughter they shared felt like a reminder of everything he wished he could be.

With a sigh, he turned back to his friends, but the knot of insecurity tightened in his stomach. Why did he feel this way? He loved Taehyung, and he knew Taehyung loved him too, but moments like this made him question whether he truly fit into Taehyung's world.

"Jungkook, you good?" another friend asked, concern lacing their voice.

"Yeah, just... tired," he replied, his voice lacking its usual enthusiasm. He forced himself to look away from them, trying to focus on the conversation around him, but the unease lingered in his heart.

~×~×~×~

As Jungkook returned home, the weight of his earlier thoughts hung heavily on his shoulders. He tossed his clothes into the washing machine, the rhythmic sound of the machine starting barely registering in his mind. The images of Taehyung and Seoyeon lingered, haunting him as he moved to the kitchen.

He grabbed a knife and began cutting vegetables for dinner, but his mind was elsewhere, replaying the scene from the café. They looked so good together, so confident. Jungkook couldn't shake the feeling that he paled in comparison, that he looked like a child standing next to a refined adult. He concentrated on chopping the vegetables, hoping the rhythmic action would help clear his mind, but the insecurities just kept bubbling to the surface.

"Why can't I look like that?" he muttered under his breath, slicing through the crisp bell peppers with more force than necessary. "Why do I have to feel like this?"

He remembered Taehyung's sharp suits and the way he carried himself with such grace and poise. Jungkook, on the other hand, often opted for comfort over style his oversized tees and casual pants were a far cry from the polished appearance he thought Taehyung deserved.

What if Taehyung was embarrassed to be seen with him? The thought struck like a bolt of lightning, and Jungkook froze momentarily, gripping the knife tightly. He shook his head, trying to push the thought away, but it lingered stubbornly in his mind.

"Stop it, Jungkook," he whispered to himself, taking a deep breath. He set the knife down and leaned against the counter, closing his eyes. "You're overthinking this."

But deep down, he knew he couldn't help it. Taehyung had been so successful, so admired, and here he was-just a guy in a bucket hat who felt like he still had a lot to prove.

Jungkook sighed heavily, turning back to the vegetables and resuming his chopping, but the rhythm felt off now, the movements robotic as he battled his inner turmoil. The sizzling of the pan was drowned out by the doubts echoing in his mind.

As he prepared dinner, he tried to remind himself of Taehyung's love, the way his husband always looked at him with warmth and affection. Still, the nagging feeling of inadequacy lingered like a shadow, refusing to leave him alone as he stirred the vegetables in the pan, a silent battle between his heart and his mind waging on.

~×~×~×~

As Jungkook stirred the soup, lost in his thoughts, he was suddenly enveloped in a warm embrace from behind. Taehyung's familiar presence should have been comforting, but instead, it startled him, causing him to wince slightly as he felt a twinge of pain shoot through his shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Taehyung's voice was soft, laced with concern as he tightened his grip for a moment before stepping back to assess Jungkook's expression.

"Nothing," Jungkook replied quickly, forcing a smile as he turned to face his husband. "I just... twisted a bit while chopping." He tried to brush it off, but he could see the worry in Taehyung's eyes.

"Are you sure?" Taehyung stepped closer, studying him. "You know you can tell me if something's bothering you."

Jungkook's heart raced. He wanted to confide in Taehyung, to let him know about the insecurities that had been gnawing at him all day, but he hesitated. Instead, he focused on stirring the soup, pretending that the simple task was all that mattered. "Really, I'm fine," he insisted, not meeting Taehyung's gaze.

Taehyung didn't buy it. He reached out, gently tilting Jungkook's chin up so their eyes could meet. "You're not fine. I can tell when something's bothering you, Jungkook. Talk to me."

Jungkook felt his heart drop. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he found himself staring into Taehyung's concerned eyes, the love and care evident in every glance.

Jungkook didn't respond, keeping his gaze fixed on the pot as he stirred the soup. Taehyung's warm embrace felt distant now, and he didn't want to show how much he was hurting. He felt justified in giving Taehyung the cold shoulder, thinking it was the only way to protect his heart.

"Jungkook?" Taehyung's voice was soft, but there was a hint of concern layered beneath. "Are you upset with me? Did I do something wrong?"

Still, Jungkook remained silent, unwilling to break the tension. He felt Taehyung's presence lingering behind him, the warmth of his body an unwelcome reminder of the emotional distance he was creating. Taehyung's patience was commendable, but Jungkook felt the need to wallow in his insecurities.

Taehyung sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, I know something's bothering you. Please, just talk to me."

Jungkook clenched his jaw, the tension palpable in the air. He wanted to explain, to voice his feelings of inadequacy and jealousy, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he bit back his emotions, stubbornly stirring the soup as if it were the only thing keeping him grounded.

"Jungkook," Taehyung tried again, stepping closer. "I care about you. I don't want you to feel this way."

Jungkook finally turned, his expression cold and unreadable. "I'm fine, Hyung. Just drop it." His tone was sharper than he intended, but it felt like the only way to defend himself against the swirling insecurities that plagued him.

Taehyung's eyes widened in surprise, the hurt evident on his face. "You're clearly not fine. I can't help you if you won't let me in."

Jungkook's heart twisted at the sight of Taehyung's disappointment, but he quickly hardened his resolve. "I said I'm fine!" he snapped, turning back to the stove, his voice tinged with frustration.

Feeling the walls between them grow higher, Taehyung took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you want to push me away, then fine. But I won't let you shut me out completely."

The silence that followed was thick and uncomfortable. Jungkook continued to stir, the bubbling soup matching the storm of emotions brewing inside him. He hated this feeling, hated that he was pushing Taehyung away, but he didn't know how to express his feelings without sounding ridiculous or insecure.

"Just... let me know when you're ready to talk," Taehyung said finally, his voice softening as he turned away. "I'll be in the living room."

As Taehyung walked away, Jungkook felt a pang of regret, but he couldn't bring himself to call him back. Instead, he focused on the soup, willing himself to push aside his feelings, even as they threatened to spill over. He wanted to scream, to explain everything that was wrong, but he was trapped in a cycle of insecurity that seemed impossible to break.

The evening went on in a muted silence, each man in his own world, separated by unspoken words and a growing chasm of misunderstanding. Jungkook couldn't shake off the feeling that he was losing something precious, yet fear held him captive, leaving him to stew in his own emotions while Taehyung waited patiently in the other room.