All you need is love

Bad memories

'Oh sweetie, go take a shower okay?' I said as more of a question.

'Okay,' she said and I walked her to the shower.

'I'll bring you something comfy to change into,' I said and she nodded gratefully.

She was in the shower and I had given her something to change into so I went over to jay's

'Oh my god,' I said.

'You okay?' Jay asked.

'Not sure,' I said honestly.

'Where is Mia?'

'Shower, she might be in there for a while,' I said while rubbing my temples.

'Oh god what do I do. I don't know how I can go through this again. Ah fuck,' I said sliding down onto the floor.

'What happened?' Jay asked.

'Will raped her,' I just said simply.

'WHAT OH MY GOD THAT JERK. Wait, who's Will?' He said.

'The person she was going on a date with, ugh. Why. Would. He. Do. That,' I said while banging my fist onto the floor between words.

'Should we report it?' Jay asked.

'I don't know. I didn't want to, and we didn't. It worked out okay, but sometime I look back and think that I should have reported Rory. We should leave it up to Mia,' I said.

'Is she staying over?' He asked.

'Yeah, at least a week probably, I don't know if I should trust her alone for a bit. She asked me how I went so long without trying to commit suicide. I really hope she doesn't try. Speaking of which, could you take sharp objects away from places that Mia can get, so keep them all in one place that she wouldn't think to look in.' I instructed.

'Okay, do you want me to call one of the other boys?' Jay asked.

'Nah, I think she needs to be alone for a bit. She needs to think things through,' I said.

At this point I stood up and leaned against the wall. I was trying to hold back tears. This was bringing back so many memories but I had to stay strong for Mia.

'Come here,' jay said and he pulled me in for a hug. I couldn't fight the tears any longer so I just sobbed into his shoulder for a while.

'Thanks ' I said once I had composed myself.

'You know I am here for you anytime. All of the boys are,' he said.

'Yeah I know, and I appreciate that,' I said before walking out to check on Mia.

I waited in my room for her to finish and I went on twitter for a bit. I decided to do an #askcaitlin and it was a TT in just a couple of minutes. I wasn't being very creative with my answers like I usually am, but the boys' fans didn't seem to notice. When I heard my door opening and Mia walking in, I tweeted that I had to go and then I comforted Mia.

'Mia,' I said.

'Yeah?' she asked.

'When I look back, there is one thing that I regret. I know that this is entirely your decision and you don't have to do it, but I would really consider it. I mean I just wish...' I spoke but Mia wanting me to get to the point interrupted me.

'Right, I think you should report it,' I said.

She sighed and thought about it.

'I'll be out in the living room if you need me,' I said to Mia and I let her stay in my room to think about what had happened and what I had just told her.

I sat down onto the couch and sighed. I put my head in my hands as my thoughts went back years ago to when Rory had raped me, back to when I tried to kill myself. It really hurt thinking that Mia was going through the same thing now and I couldn't do much to help.

'Hey, you okay?' Jay asked joining me on the couch.

'Yeah,' I said wiping away a few tears that had fallen.

'No you aren't,' he said.

'I know,' I admitted.

'Want to talk about it? You know I'm here for you,' Jay said grabbing my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

'Yeah,' I said. I started by telling him about Mia. I made sure that Mia wouldn't be able to hear me by talking quietly. I ended by saying how it was bringing back memories.

'I'm sorry love. I wish there was something I could do to help,' he said while rubbing circles into my back.

'Me too,' I sighed and cuddled with Jay until I fell asleep from being emotionally drained.