When I met you → shaylor

Ćhapter 18

Taylor's POV

Taylor:
We need to talk

Shawn:
About what?

Taylor:
I don't know maybe the big fight we had.

Shawn:
I'm don't want to

Taylor:
You put to much stress on me

Shawn:
Oh really be quiet

Taylor:
No I'm trying to reach out to you and all your doing is pushing me away

Shawn:
Because I hate you! I don't wanna be in a relationship no more, I don't wanna have to argue with you anymore, I am done we will never work this out again.

Taylor:
Your done you don't want this anymore

Shawn:
Nope

Taylor:
Fine

It felt like a thousand bullets where ripping through my heart as I reread the what Shawn said.

Does he even care? Has he ever cared?

Because if he can drop our relationship like that then I don't think it ever mattered to him.

A tear slipped down my cheek. I stared at the wall with my jaw clenched as I cried uncontrollably. My body started shaking and tears just came out involuntarily. I didn't think this would be his reaction.

I threw my body back on the bed and dragged my hands down my face. My shoulders shook with each cry.

I fucking hate myself!

This is my fault

I should've just stayed and I could be with Shawn right now.

I stood up from my bed, and walked to the bathroom. I opened the cabinet that held my razor blades for my razor. I'm so done with this.

Grabbing a razor I shut the cabinet back and sat on the toilet. I pulled up the my sweater I was wearing. I brought the blade to my lower stomach, I was scared I haven't done this in forever.

I quickly slid the blade against my skin the familiar feeling coming back as I went to do another cut. I did a few more before stopping. I put the razor back up and cleaned my stomach, and pushed down my shirt.

I'll regret doing these tomorrow, but right now I feel okay.

--
Shawn's POV

I honestly don't know why I said those things to Taylor. It's like everytime we fight a whole other person comes out of me, I should of talked to him earlier.

This I why I've been single for so long because I don't know how to deal with things like this.

Taylor's POV

My eyes stayed glued to my wall.My thoughts where restless as I laid there. I just wanted to wake up and this all be a dream. This is why you don't date people your a fan of.

Every wall in the room his covered with posters of Shawn, besides the one I'm staring at.

My phone played breath me by sia. I was definitely in this type of mood.

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And the worse part is there is no one else to blame

I wanted to disappear from this earth. I mean nothing to anyone anyways they wouldn't care because I'm a worthless, depressed freak that one actually loves.

Shawn never loved me. He only dated my because he felt bad for me.

Just like everyone else in my life there only there because they have pity on me.

I grab my phone off the night stand, and went to Shawn's contact.

Taylor:
I'm sorry
For putting so much pressure on you, for ever believing I meant something to you, for being a depressed freak, for making you kiss my disgusting self, for making you pretend to love me, I'm sorry for ever existing, but I'll be gone soon, I promise.

I sent the message. I was full on crying by now. 'Skinny Love' now played background. The room seemed to spin as I pulled on my hair and let out a frustrated scream. I pulled the blade off my night stand and put it to my lower stomach just as my phone ringed.

I dropped the blade and reached a shaky hand out to answer my phone. "H-hello" I stuttered out. "Taylor are you ok? I'm sorry I didn't mean any of that, I want to talk to you. I didn't get with you out of pity" Shawn said in one big breathe. "Yes you did!" I cried Into the phone.

"No I didn't please believe me" Shawn pleaded. I stayed silent and looked down at my fresh cuts from yesterday. Did I really wanna do this. "Please believe me Baby" Shawn spoke. "I do" I say quietly.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Shawn asked. I stayed silent, I guess Shawn took that as a yes. "This is all my fault" Shawn said, his voice was shaky and it sounded like he was crying. "No it's not" I spoke. "I'm sorry" Shawn apologized again.

"I'm gonna get a plane ticket and I'm gonna fly out Indiana I'll show you that I love you" Shawn said before hanging. I sat my phone down and grabbed my blade. I walked to my bathroom and flushed it down the toilet. I watched as I swirled around with the water then flushed.

As I walked back to the room my phone went off with a text. I shuffled to my bed and sat down grabbing my phone.

Shawn:
I got the earliest flight I will be there when you wake up guarantee.

Taylor:
You don't have to come

Shawn:
I want to

I just put my phone on the charger and laid back in my bed. I was worn out from all the crying, and I just wanted to sleep, and hopefully Shawn will be here when I wake up.

----
Next Morning

I was hoping that I would wake up with Shawn here, but that didn't happen, but Shawn still was coming. Actually right now he was on his way from the airport.

Which means he would be here any minute. I stared out my window every few seconds really anxious to see him. I know it's only been a two days since I seen him, but those where two bad days.

I looked out the window once more and seen a black car pull into my drive way. My stomach fluttered and a smiled spread across my face. I got up from my bed and ran down the stairs. I almost slipped a little from my socks but quickly caught myself.

I ran through the living room, and out the door where Shawn stood in the drive way. I ran over to him and Shawn smiled holding his arms out as I jumped into his arms. Shawn caught me and held onto my waist.

He spun us around a bit as I held I
On to him for dear life. Shawn put me down, and grabbed my face and brought his lips to mine. "I'm so sorry" Shawn said resting his forehead on mine.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

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