Mixing Business with Pleasure (Editing)

29 - No

Her arms were wrapped loosely around my neck, as she stared deeply into my eyes, "Okay, but it's just a lot we'd have to deal with and think about"

I moved, resting on my side turning to face her, and started playing with her curls - I love her hair. "Let's talk about it right now" I knew we would have to talk it all out at some point, and let our feelings be known properly. No more covering up anything. There's no time like the present, and maybe if we talk it out enough, she will loose the idea of us having a break.

She twisted her body so she could see my face properly. We both lay on our sides closely, looking at each other as we spoke, "When I think about how long we've known each other I just think we are moving way too fast, like even the way we are thinking. I find myself thinking about the future with you, even more after the things you say and if I'm thinking of the future I have to think about you and this baby, and I don't know I just feel a break would be good until you find out the babies yours or not"

I stayed silent for a second taking what she said in. Candice throughout this hadn't been as open as I had - I think because she was afraid to put her feelings on the line, afraid to get hurt. I wanted to hear everything that was on her mind. Though I think she feels the same, I want to know if she's having doubts, "But that would be 4-5 months away from now" I tried to not to enforce my opinion but no, that won't be happening. There aint no way in hell we are pausing for that amount of time. I'd been missing her in more ways than one and it had only been the weekend.

She bit her lip before she replied in her soft voice. I love her voice, "Hmm, I don't know but"

I was waiting for her to finish but she said nothing, "If the baby is mine" I began to ask her, though my tone had changed - it's bad I didn't want this kid to be mine, but if it is I'd want to be there and I'd have to see how she feels about that because logically there's no point of me jumping into it all again without her support on that front, though shit - it's a lot to ask from a woman I'm just getting to know, "would you consider being there? I'm serious when I say the next time I want to do it right - and that's with you. We just became official, I know, and this is fast so I get why you'd want t a break but Candice I know enough to know I want you in my life. This weekend proved that shit even more, but I know that if this kid is mine I'd want to be a proper father. You know I didn't have that growing up, so I'd make sure I'm better. So, I need to ask you if you'd be willing to be there?"

"I don't know" she expressed honestly, her voice was quiet. "I mean I missed you too, this weekend I mean. I was just trying to clear everything in my mind about all of this, and how I'd feel if this baby was yours. What that would mean for me, for us and whatever future we have. I think, I think it's so fast because I've never felt this way before - like so connected to someone. When you say about me and you getting married and stuff, like I'm not going to pretend I haven't thought those thoughts too. And like, I know that's what I want with you, it's just it's too soon to be thinking like that right? And to be honest I always felt like if I was to get married, we'd have our first child together and I just don't know what I'm even saying anymore. I'm just going on and on, but I don't know Samuel I've fallen for you, and I sometimes just think it's too soon."

I laughed lightly, "Candice you wasn't going on and on" I said still playing with the curl that wrapped around my finger, "Maybe it's not too soon." I gazed into her deep brown eyes, "because we both feel it, and we feel it for a reason. It took one look, but I knew since you walked into my office for that interview. I just tried to hide it. I get that you wouldn't want this, with the kid. I don't even want all this shi-" I stopped myself from swearing, "I feel bad for saying it, but we know this situation isn't ideal." I paused thinking about what she described as her vision, shit I wanted that too. I'd want Candice and I to have our first child together, and be there throughout the whole process. I think that's why I aint even insisted on wrapping up, like I did with all the other women after Simone, "I made a mistake with Simone, we didn't have half of the connection we have and I'm not even saying that because of what happened. We've both had past relationships, this is still a first for us cos like you I aint felt like this before - ever"

She smiled, though it was slight. "I would" her expression was mixed though, with worry and a tint of seriousness, "I would support it - you - this situation" she said with conviction "When you said you'd let everyone know, and that you didn't care, that showed a lot - that you'd support me - us -I know first hand what you're like with your company, not that that's the same but you wouldn't care what people think, and maybe I don't care" she chuckled lightly which made me smile, "Like this is crazy, and my mind keeps saying NO NO NO, but maybe I should just go with what I feel, and though as you said this is not ideal I want it to work. I just need a little space, not 4-5 months but I think we both need a break, you still need to get over this all and how much it hurt you"

Our eyes locked as we smiled at each other for no reason because I was still unsettled by the word break, I knew this wasn't like Candice - even on the first day when things went down I could tell she was over thinking anything. So for her to put that to the side, and go with her heart made me happy as fuck. I mean, that is precisely what I'm doing especially as it all went wrong before. Anyone would think that shit would put me off but instead Candice has made me want all that all over again. "Candice I don't need space to clear my mind, or to get over anything. I'm going to be straight up, "I paused because this is not the typical shit you say to a woman, but Candice needed to realise that I'm over it and she helped me be over it, "before I met you and I first found out that woman and what she'd been doing I didn't know how to cope. I was on a downward spiral to nowhere. I had my fair share of women" I wanted to smile at her reaction, her face was screwed up. It looked so cute, though I could tell she was about to get mad, but I had a point "but I wasn't happy and none of them compared to you. I'm not even just saying that, from when you came up in my office you sparked something in me that no other woman has. And I wanted to keep that going, because I already knew I wanted you in my life and that's why I didn't say nothing. Though when you found out, you made me realise I can't ignore it all. Well, that little show made me realise that too, but it was you who made me realise I wasn't thinking about if it was mine cos I didn't want to. I been thinking about it since, and I'd want custody - I know for you that'd be a lot to handle though you said you would so I'm going to respect you will need your space but I don't need it. I just want you to be all mine, and I want to let the world know you're all mine."

My hands hovered over her lace bra, "and these are mine" I moved one hand towards her lace panties, "and this is mine" I smiled as she laughed lightly, "all mine"

"Samuel" she called out before biting down on her lip hard.

"But seriously, if you need time then I'll let you have all the time you need, but please don't take too long. I'll miss you too much."

"I don't mean like a break where we don't see each other at all Samuel. I just, I don't even know what I want. You make it so hard for me to even think straight" she smiled briefly, "I don't know who I'm kidding" she said with a playful roll of the eyes, "I'll still be at work everyday. I'm not going to change work place, what kind of break involved the two people seeing each other all the time?" she asked rhetorically.

I chuckled along with her, glad she didn't think about moving companies although I had suggested it, but that was only if she needed it - I wanted her to be around, "Exactly, we can still go slow though, but no more secrecy. I'll tell everybody as soon as you're ready. I'll just tell em there's a new Mrs Peters, straight up"

She was blushing, then she did the unexpected action I never thought she would do in this moment, "If this is yours, then that means this" she said placing her hand on my mouth, "and this" her other hand rested lightly on my groin, "is all mine Mr Peters"

She laughed her irresistible laugh and her dimples showed. I love those dimples. "Fuck, I love you woman" the words slipped out before I even noticed I said it, but I meant it.

Her face glowed from the light that bounced off her face from the window, "I love you too"

I swear I felt my heart twitch. I'm a grown arse man and my heart was beating fast like I'm a teenage girl. Candice is turning me into a bitch already. Nah, I thought to myself though I was smiling just as wide as she was. The look between us was intense, as I moved from the position I was to hover over her again, my arms resting on the head board, "Now I'm going to show you how much"