12 Solar Sweeps

Journal 5

I'm not sure exactly whom it is I am writing to. My name is the Fearless Glacialus. I know what you're thinking. I'm not usually the one writing this. I had asked to write for a bit because I figured if I die, I want my words to be said. I want people to know the truth. I care not about this rebellion. It can continue for eternity for all I care.

My problem lies within specific trolls. Those trolls are named Marquise Spinneret Mindfang and the Grand Duke Chelicera. It seems like ratting, but I honestly cannot wait for people to figure out who I'm talking about on their own at this point. They would torture me on Mindfang's ship in the worst way possible. They used spiders, but made certain they were non-toxic. That doesn't sound that bad when you hear it, but they made sure not to kill me, just to entertain themselves further with my screams of agony. They were both awful people. Not to mention Chelicera is Mindfang's moirail. At least, he used to be.

I watched the scene unfold before my own eyes. Surprisingly, the captain's grub is not the brightest cerulean blood. I despise Mindfang with a passion, but she is no fool. Vriska Serket, I believe her name was. She had suddenly entered the torture chamber I was in. Somebody else was with her, as well, although she did not seem as enthusiastic about it as her friend. She was Terezi Pyrope. That name I will never forget. It would be sincerely rude of me to drop the name of my savior out of my mind. The teal blood begged Vriska to leave me alone, but I highly doubt she thought of the two as equals. One thing about Serkets, they like to have their own way. Vriska did not hurt me physically, but she is quite manipulative. Literally. Except she didn't use her mind control on me. She is far too young to know how to do that. Three sweeps, I believe. She would say things to me. Horrible, horrible things. I'm not even sure she knew what half of the things she said meant. She must have picked them up from her ancestor. Honestly, how does somebody like Mindfang even raise a troll properly? And to raise Terezi.... Personally, I don't think she has the privilege to do that. I know she only wants to make her into one of her pirate lackeys.

Anyway, Vriska could not stop playing dominant with me if she was offered one of Mindfang's swords. There was nothing Terezi could do to help. I can't say I blame her. If it made her feel better, I tried my hardest not to let the things I heard bother me. Unfortunately, they were much too personal. All of a sudden, she stopped. She didn't say another word. I still didn't have the right to be relieved. Chelicera had come into the room. He was fine with Vriska, but he wasn't particularly fond of Terezi at all. He grabbed her by the neck and lifted her so they were eye level with each other. I pleaded for him to stop, but it was no use. He did eventually drop her, but that was because Mindfang broke his horns off and stabbed him, tossing him overboard afterwards. She sent both Vriska and Terezi off to their recuperaccoons for the day, but not before giving them a harsh smack in the head. Only the most cruel of people would physically punish young trolls like that.

Terezi came back later that day whilst everybody else had been asleep. I tried to convince her to leave me alone before she got into more trouble, but she was a stubborn one. She had somehow managed to get the keys to my shackles and release me. I couldn't bear to have her look at my face with all of the scars and bites from the spiders. My eyes had also been completely colored over with gold due to the torture. She had given me a dark grey cloak with white fur around the hood. The fur had turned into the color of my blood when I put it on. It was the most magnificent thing I had ever received, and I was deeply grateful for it.

I couldn't help but to grow a strong liking for the Pyropes. They are such good people who do wonderful things. Terezi and I sat for a while and talked to each other, making sure not to wake anybody up. I offered her to come with me and escape from this terrible place, but she refused, which caught me off guard at first. But I understood. She wanted to stay with Vriska, even if it meant having to put up with the Serkets' insane shenanigans. I can't ever learn to understand how anybody could stand those two.

After I left the ship, I headed for the prison guarded by Neophyte Redglare. I knew that's where a good friend of mine was being held. The Caretakr, although she currently goes by the Innocent now. A rather fitting title for someone framed and locked up. It surprised me to see her wandering about the halls. I had no idea how she had managed to get out of her cell, especially when it's Redglare that's watching over them all. I got her out of there, but the way she acted towards me was troubling for myself. She seemed a little bit too nice. So I asked her what her thoughts were on our relationship. She said she wished to be my moirail. I really angered her when I rejected her. Unfortunately, I already have a pale crush. She couldn't seem to understand why I liked Redglare so much, no matter how many reasons I gave her. She just couldn't accept it as a reality. I'm sorry. I truly am. I am really, really sorry. My mind is set.

Though angry, the Innocent still tried to help Redglare from being hanged by Mindfang. I grieved over her death for days. I had done nothing to help, and my best - and only - friend just risked her life for somebody she doesn't care about. I really am a terrible person. The Innocent even brought back Redglare's lifeless body to me. She told me she couldn't leave her at that place. Not there. Anywhere but there. This is a moment I will never forget, and I want to repay her in any way I can. But all she wants is a moirallegiance. That is the only thing I cannot bring myself to give her. I am an awful person. I really do not like myself. I should just die somewhere meaninglessly. But I know I must live on. I want to change this world. Make it better, even if it's the tiniest bit.

Signed,
Glacialus