Shatter Me

[19] Anxious Whsipers

Dillion had gotten bored and went off to play. But Alyssa stayed and talked to me.

"So," I looked to Alyssa, who was now playing with the bracelets on my arm. "Are you and Dillion Jason's only siblings?"

"No." She said. "We have a baby brother." she pointed to the woman who was sitting three chairs down. The woman was holding a newborn child. "That's my mommy. And that's our baby brother. His name is Asher. He's not even one year old yet. But his birthday is coming soon."

She sighed. "I'm the only girl in our family. Well, except for mommy. But she doesn't count."

Then, she suddenly changed the subject. "Did you cry when Jason got hurt?"

I frowned. "Why do you ask that?"

"Because I cried. Mommy says I shouldn't cry though. She says that God will protect Jason. And even if Jason doesn't make it, he will go to heaven. And then he won't have to be in any more pain. But I'm still sad. I try not to cry though, because I have to stay strong for mommy. Even though mommy says I shouldn't cry, I saw her crying earlier. We have to stay strong for each other. I know Jason wouldn't want us to cry."

"Oh..." I let her words sink into my head. For a little girl, she had a lot of hope.

"Will you introduce me to your mom?" I asked

"Sure." Alyssa smiled.

She pushed herself off the chair. Now standing in front of me, she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to her mom. Her mom looked up at me.

This wasn't exactly how I had planned on meeting Jason's mom. In fact, this was quite awkward.

"Mommy, this is Serenity. She's the girl that Jason always talks about." Alyssa said.

Her mom looked like she had been crying. And she looked stressed. Probably from having to watch three kids on her own after what just happened with Jason. "Oh! It's so nice to finally meet you." She smiled, shifting Asher to one arm. "I which it could have been under better circumstances, though." Then she reached out her free arm, to shake my hand.

I remembered when Jason had done that. Shook my hand. On the day that I met him...

I shook her hand and then awkwardly sat down beside her.

Alyssa ran off, after being called from the center of the room, by Dillion. They were now playing, and I was left to try and make conversation with their mom. But to my convenience, she did that on her own.

"I'm sorry if Alyssa was bothering you. She can be quite talkative at times."

"Oh, no. She's not a bother."

"Oh, good. I, uh, I heard her talking to you about Jason...ya know, Jason is quite fond of you. You seem to mean a lot to him."

I sighed. "And he means a lot to me. I mean, he's the only friend I have..."

I was going to say something else when, Jason's mom was called up to the desk.

"Oh," She said. "I have to go and sign some papers." She hesitated. "Would you mind...holding him for me?"

"No problem. Do you want me to keep an eye on them for you too?" I pointed to Alyssa and Dillion who were still playing in the center of the room.

"Yes please. Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it."

She handed Asher to me. I took the baby and cradled him in my arms. He was a darling baby. Jason had such adorable siblings.

Minutes later, Jason's mom came back. She looked worried. "I can take the baby back now." She said. "Um...they said that we can go back into his room now. Only family members are allowed though. And...they're going to give us test results."

"Oh..." I said slowly. "I guess since there's really nothing for me to do here...I-I'm going to go home." I paused. "Will you please call me if...if you get any bad news?"

I handed her a slip of paper with my phone number on it.

"Sure." She took the piece of paper. "And thanks again for helping me." She turned and taking a deep breath, she called for Alyssa and Dillion to follow her down the hall...and into Jason's room.

She looked nervous. She was scared of what she might find out. She was scared to see the results.

And so was I.

The anxiety was whispering into my ear telling me that probably wasn't any hope left. I wish I could just know the results already. The anxiety was killing me.