Defective - Jacob Black {1}

Chapter 17: New Threats

School seemed pointless to me right now, I hadn't been in two weeks. Dad urged for me to go but I wouldn't be able to concentrate, he knew that. So he decided to help, ringing in saying I was ill so I didn't have to endure facing everyone. The school would mail me any vital work I'd missed.

I was physically and mentally drained, all I ever did now was stay in my room either crying or sleeping but that didn't stop me from being tired continuously. I only left my room for food when I could be bothered to eat, I knew I was losing weight but I couldn't be bothered to care.

Everyone was gone.

Tori couldn't handle the loss of Jesse so she stayed with Seth and Dad acted like everything was normal. I couldn't talk to him about anything. Bella had fallen back into her pit of depression leading us to hardly speak to each other again, Jake leaving had torn us apart.

She had found him in the his new state a few days ago and longed for an explanation though he turned her away. He told her off for lying to everyone for having knowledge about my kind. He even used the term filthy bloodsucker. I guess he knew what I was now.

She was alone too, yet we were alone in different and in the same ways. We had lost everyone close to us, the Cullens, I had lost my friends, my brother and our best friend who I loved so much more than he would ever know and probably won't now.

It only hit me that it was love I was feeling towards him when my heart was breaking. The stabbing pain inside of me knocked the air out of my lungs every time I thought about him. Maybe if I had spent more time with him, seen him separately from Bella I could have stopped him from being sucked into Sam's stupid cult.

I had missed my own 18th birthday in my sadness, shutting everyone out completely because the one person I wanted to spend it with was ordered to stay away from me. The day after Ryan came over to visit, bringing my presents from my friends whilst I remained in bed pretending to be sick but he could see right through my façade.

I winced when I saw the state of his face when he walked in. His eyes were puffy and swollen, blood shot and bruised due to his broken, slightly wonky nose. Jake must have had some force behind that punch.

"Hey." He stepped into my room farther, shutting the door behind himself before looking over me. "You look terrible." I sniffled as my dam of feelings gave way and the tears began to fall. "Hey, hey, hey."

He clambered onto my bed quickly, pulling me into his lap as I cried and he rocked me. He let me cry for as long as I needed as I gripped onto his shirt. He'd occasionally kiss my head and stroke my hair, his affection slowly numbing my pain.

"They all left me." I whispered when I found my voice again. "They don't want me in their lives anymore." Maybe I was saying too much, Ryan could never understand why.

"How could they not?" He looked down at me, brushing the hair off of my tear stained cheeks.

"It's complicated." I looked away from him, my hands fiddling with his shirt.

"It's pissing me off." He spat and I allowed my eyes to glance back at his face. "They're crazy to not want you in their lives." He held my face with his free hand, stroking the silent tears away.

"I can't do anything about it." I mumbled, closing my eyes at the sweet caresses he was giving me, I needed to be wanted. I wanted to be needed.