The Secret Apprentice | Vader x OC

Avidity

Okay I completely lost track of my word count on this chapter, and so it is extra long lol. It is also quite smutty. Also, for some reason I am unable to upload an image anywhere. It may be due to how many words there are, and maybe the file is just too big. Ugh. Enjoy!

Chapter 17: Avidity

After a while of allowing my emotions to simmer, Blip was powered down for the night while her internal battery was being refueled. I finally began to move off the bed, my burned heels covered with some bacta-infused bandages. Vader was not in the room, and I needed a bath before bed. I was quite nasty from sweating, crying, and being thrown across the floor so much. I was still in disarray regarding everything that had just happened. My emotions had no way to truly decide on how to feel. I wanted to cry, scream, erupt, and kill all at once while begging the cosmos for a reason why all of this had to happen to me. Nothing in my life was ever easy, I was never happy for very long. I wanted to blame Vader for most of my turmoil, but I felt at this point he couldn't be blamed for the actions he had been led to make. In truth, I loved him too much to pin all of this on him. He had saved my life more times than I am surely aware of. Trying my very best to keep my mind focused on here and now, I led myself to follow along with the task at hand.

Entering the refresher, I drew a hot bath while staring at myself in the mirror. Honestly, I looked awful. My eyes were bloodshot from my excessive bawling, and my hair was all over the place. My platinum-blonde roots were beginning to show, and bruises continued to litter my skin. Unlike the last time I focused on them, not a single one had been caused by any intimacy. My arms and legs were clear of them, while my back end and shoulders were adorned with them.

Vader has teased me a couple times since the night we had given in to one another, but he has yet to allow me to express any physical love to him in response to any of it. He enjoys toying with me and pushing me over the edge, but the moment I try to return the favor he puts up that wall again and avoids it. I had begun to worry about whether it was me that no longer got him going, but every time he would fondle, tease or even get relatively suggestive around me his arousal would become obvious. He would get exhilarated by my thoughts of being intimate with him, even simply pressing against me drove him crazy.

Stripping off my clothes, I entered the bath and immediately felt the hot water soothe my injuries. Wetting my hair, my thoughts led me to the reality of just how starved I was of the captivating sensations he created for me that night. At this point, his fingers were not enough. I just knew that whatever it was that held him back from giving in before, was once again in motion.

Images flashed through my mind, accompanied by powerful sensations that left me desperate. Turning the water off, I began to worry about the chance of him having already gotten into the bacta tank. Typically, he would come back in just before to express his affection to me by saying goodnight most of the time. In rare instances, though, he would kiss my lips or my head.

Despite him being difficult in regards to allowing me to express my love for him, it was no doubt to me that the both of us had fallen for each other, that he to some extent feels love for me. But he isn't too prone to expressing it in a way that is obvious. Instead, he shows it rather than speaking of it. By protecting me, taking it easy on me during spars, and allowing me to remain close to him. The way he kisses me so passionately in those rare occasions where he does, it sends sparks through both of us despite him never wanting to admit or speak of how he feels.

Despite my arousal, I moved on to wash my hair and scrub my body. I was unable to resist the urge to begin fondling myself beneath the water, able to push three fingers in now that he had taken my virtue. Triggering the lights to dim, I felt less nervous and began to close my eyes. Playing through the events of him claiming my body, within minutes I was climbing up my high, nearing my climax while being unable to hold back my cries.