The Secret Apprentice | Vader x OC

Ambivalence

Chapter 13: Ambivalence

The atmosphere felt heavy, as though my bones would break. My skin was scorched, an indescribably brutal sense of agony incapacitated every inch of my body. It was as though I had gone through the very pits of hell, crawled myself through every raging fire in my way just to get out. An awful emanation tore its way through my ears, the source incomprehensible to identify. The haunting sound shrieked and howled endlessly, eventually identifying them as the sounds of my own scorched vocal cords. The blinding bright light above me, the sharp tugging sensations of peeling skin, the loud cracking of bones and the unrelenting rage.

The long agonizing minutes of undiluted suffering slowly dragged out into days, then into months. There was no instance in which the misery would cease long enough to sleep, no second in which the cries of suffering ever stopped. My throat went raw, began to bleed, even. There was no choice but to swallow down the blood that threatened to leak down into my airway. My body did not feel as though it were my own. My arms would not bend, my fingers would not straighten out. My knees and ankles were the same, never responding to the signals my brain would send to order them to move. My vision had been incomprehensibly blurred, my hearing muffled.

Everything went to black, but the crippling sensations persisted.

The pain was limitless, and I found myself on my hands and knees, crying out into the modulation of the suit that served as my prison. The metallic taste of blood was left behind on my tongue, my lungs so tight they felt as if they were loaded with burning hot smoke. I could not breathe, despite my own cries of suffering bellowing into my ears.

A light ignited within the seemingly infinite darkness all around me, and with it a feeling of relief. The suffering that ran rampant throughout my body began to melt away, and an angelic voice echoed throughout the endless atmosphere around me.

"Anakin.."

The unmistakable voice led me to force aside the remainder of suffering I felt, my head shooting upward to stare ahead of me, into the blinding glow of white light.

There she stood, in her soft, pale blue heavenly aura. Her long, beautiful dress and the delicate little flowers in her hair twisted painfully at my bitter, frozen heart. Her beauty, presence, essence and everything that made up her in her entirety bombarded my vision with tears. They ran to slither down along my cheeks, the sound of my sobs escaped the modulation as nothing more than pitiful. My head fell to hang from my shoulders, and my eyes clamped shut as my mentality broke down, leaving my body trembling.

She was everything to me, my love, my life, my reason for existing. She was my everything. She died, and so did our baby. It was my fault, all of it was.

I only wished to protect her! The voice of Darth Vader shouted into my head.

And I killed her for it! My voice erupted despite my lips not moving.