The Crazy Girl

"You're Gonna Change the World Kid..."

The next day was suppose to be field day for the eighth graders. It was also the second to last day of the school year. And yet it didn't feel like either of those two were really happening.

I didn't want to be in the real world. I wanted to be in a whole other universe so that I could at least pretend that I was okay. So I just kept on with the songs. I've written six since yesterday.

I think everyone is starting to notice my change in attitude. It's not that hard for my friends to be able to tell if something's wrong. But I try anyways.

As I was working, my current song was starting to get stubborn on me. I just can't seem to get this bridge down. But we need to get these songs done so that Mr. Kiery can record it before... we just need to get this done.

"Sarah..." I heard Alex say from next to me. "You okay?"

I was working frantically to finish. Suddenly I realized how little time we had and I still couldn't get this stupid bridge down. Especially not with the crappy music coming from the cafeteria where the dance was.

I threw my pen down and let out a loud groan in frustration.

"I can't freaking concentrate here." I let out in anger.

I picked up my bag and threw my papers in there. Alex jumped up after me and followed me to the band room.
I walked into one of the recording / practice rooms and grabbed a guitar.

"And I- I, can't help but fall- for all these tricks you play..." I sang.

That was the line leading into the bridge, but as I played, it just didn't seem to sound right.

I played and I played and pretty soon I was working so hard my fingers started tripping over themselves. I couldn't take it. My temper was starting to run out with my patience. Like they were a couple of runaways that wanted to find life elsewhere.

"DAMMIT!" I yelled out. I could feel tears running down my cheeks as I found a fresh sheet of paper and went to the counter to start a new song. I'm over that last song, I need a break from it before I rip it in half.

"Sar Bear..." he started quietly. "What're you trying to do?"

"I need to finish these freaking songs for the demo before tomorrow so that we can record them before the end of the school year." I yelled.

"Look at me Sarah..." He said.

I turned around, annoyed that my tears are making it hard to see my work.

"Slow down. You don't need to have a whole album by tomorrow. We can always come back over the summer to get this recorded. Relax..."

"But..." I started. "But what if something comes up? I need to get these done I can't let the band down I need to have those nine done by second period tomorrow and I only have six so far and..." I couldn't finish. I was crying all over the place and I couldn't sit still. Alex noticed pulled me into a hug, kissed my forehead, and rubbed my back.

It wasn't a big deal to get these songs done. I knew that. I knew Alex was right. But it felt like I just had to get these songs done by tomorrow or something horrible would happen, and we wouldn't get to be big like we all wanted because of me.

"If you have to finish the nine songs, then I'll help you finish. Okay? It's okay Sar Bear, it'll be okay. You'll see. Everything will be fine sweetheart..."

I finally pulled away when I heard the bell ring. I packed my things, grabbed my bass from my storage locker, took Alex's hand in mine, and walked to the Cap.'s room.