Mixing Business with Pleasure (Editing)

23 - Past

I nudged Lala, and pointed discretely to where I saw he stood. She averted her gaze to the 6'ft dark chocolate, male who had his dreads tied back. His chiseled features were still prominent in the dim light. He still had it going on.

"Shit, just as everything was going good. His eyes are stuck on you girl"

"Im glad we're VIP so he can't just pop over, though after how he acted I wouldn't even expected him too" I reflected back to how dismissive he was of my feelings. He acted like our relationship was nothing, like I was nothing.

"At least you look good girl because nobody wants to be seeing an ex looking like a hot mess, what's it been.. A year?"

A whole year, and two months, "Yeah, and do I? Is it bad I want him to be looking at me in regret - like damn I missed out"

"To hell it isn't, every woman wants that. And you better stop playing, you look damn good. He needs to be thinking that because he thought his papers and files were more attractive and was afraid of any sign of commitment." She twisted her head in his direction again, "The way he's staring at you girl, he more than regrets it"

My lips curled up, as I continued to watch him through the corner of my eye. I playfully swatted her arm, "Girl behave, but thanks. You be looking flawless as always yourself."

"But yeah," I continued staying on the topic of Ryan as my eyes focused on Lala, "he literally made zero time for me, there's only so much I could take of that"

"Not to mention, him acting like he was above you because you grew up in the hood. I don't know who that bitch thinks he is, I don't care that he looks good. The things I would do to him, if he wasn't your ex and such a-"

"Lala" I exclaimed, though it was true - he did look good and she was right his attitude did spoil him.

"Pshh" she made a sound effect dismissing me, "you already know I can't hold back the truth. In fact you need to tell me your secret. All the men that are approaching me these days are flat out ugly. Now I'm not shallow, but damn"

I cracked up laughing, thinking back to the last man she told me about, who was a walking disaster.

Lala's prayers were answered a few minutes later when a tall, fine vanilla man approached her asking if he could have a dance. I raised my eyebrows, wondering what kind of dancing would be done to match the slow rhythm of this music. The dance floor reflected a very intimate scene.
I screamed encouragement through m eyes, whilst I beamed at her; I didn't want her worrying about me.
Once she accepted, I sat enjoying the atmosphere. I was feeling content but the lack of flowing conversation meant my mind wandered onto Samuel. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, now our planned were cancelled.

My body swayed slightly to the beat, as I tried to see if I could find Lala on the dance floor.

"Candice, can we talk?"
His deep husky voice was recognisable to me, even after a year. Talk. He wants to talk, it's s bit late for that now, when I wanted to talk he ignored me and made it seem like I was obsessed with him.

"No" I answered abruptly, "we can not talk" I didn't even look up at him, and I could tell it bothered him by his tone of voice though it was covered by politeness. I know he hates it when people don't acknowledge his presence.

"All I'm asking for is a little conversation" he said smoothly. How did his stupid ass get into the VIP section?

I smiled unintentionally when I realised those are the words he said to me when we first met. He thought he was so slick.

I looked up at him. Big mistake. The effect he had on me wasn't like the undeniable one that Samuel has, but I felt something nevertheless. I put it down to his good looks, but I know as soon as he opens his mouth, he will ruin any good I saw in him. I'll remember how low he made me feel.

I didn't agree to anything but this pompous idiot had already taken Lala's seat. I rolled my eyes to the heavens, though there was nothing heavenly about my thoughts right now. He had the power to make me feel so mad.

"I didn't have you down for liking jazz" his casual statement failed to break the ice.

This was just typical of him. He'd rather try to start small instead of dealing with the matter at hand - like what brought him to my table in the first place. And of course as usual, there was an hidden undertone to his words - judgement. Why wouldn't I be the type to like jazz? I didn't have to ask to know he would spout some rubbish about poorer peopl not being socialised. Everything related to sociology with him.

"What do you want Ryan?" I cut to the chase.

His eyes almost popped out of his sockets. I never used to be as blunt. Good, he can see shit changed in a year.
"I just wanted to tell you, your looking beautiful tonight" he stalled, trying to get eye contact with me.

"Okay, so now you've done that" my face was blank. I just wanted to drink my drink in peace, without the bullshit.

I heard him sigh, "The main thing I wanted to say is that I'm sorry"
I almost spat out the gulp of champagne I took from my glass whilst he was speaking. Ryan never said sorry. "And that I'm glad to see you. To be honest I never thought I'd see you again. Your number changed, you moved out. By the time I came to my senses it was too late"

Damn right, and it's even later now. He never ever appreciated what he had, when he had it. I used to wish for this day to happen. After we broke up, Id imagine the day where he would be sorry, and want me back - but now it doesn't feel as good now that moment has come. I feel minor satisfaction.

"Cool" I gave him a half smile, and was about to send him on his way.

"Is that all you've got to say Candice? I'm trying to talk to you"

"What do you expect me to say? It's been over a year. I've moved on. You said your sorry, I'm cool with that" it's like he was expecting some kind of display of gratitude, or for me to actually care. The old me, would have been overly happy at his words - because at that time I was stupid enough to think I loved this man.

"You moved on.. What are you with someone?"

"That's none of your business" Typical Ryan behaviour to even ask that question.
"I know, my bad. It's been a year and two months, I expected you to move on." I focused on his face for the first time, struck by the fact he remembered the specific amount of time. Was this Ryan being sincere?

He eyes flashed to look behind me, for a second. I instantly turned my head back to see Lala approaching the entrance of the VIP section.

"Look I know you're out with your friend. Maybe we could talk another time, properly when you're free, just to catch up or whatever" his leg was shaking slightly - which is a habit of his when he's nervous.

He took out a business card and passed it to me, telling me I can call him anytime. I wish he didn't look so good, I thought to myself as I tucked the card into my bag. He was looking like a hershie bar, his dark smooth skin and dimples that showed when he spoke. A part of me wanted to hear what he wanted to say the fact he knew I moved meant he'd tried to visit me about 3 months ago, as this job is what helped me afford the rent of my current apartment. Another part of me just wanted closure, to close the book of that relationship as currently when I think of Ryan, the memories of me trying so hard for the relationship to work has left a stain. I'm more scared to commit and overthink even more than before. And the smallest part of me wanting to consider giving Ryan a chance, shit I bet he isn't married with a kid potentially on the way.

A/N written on my phone, but I had to update for you all.

Ryan looks like he's sneaking his way in there