Corny Jokes

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0. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

1.What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? Wataaaaah!!!

2. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

3. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

4.How does NASA organize their company parties. They planet.

5. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

6.Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle.

7.My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's only got his shelf to blame.

8.What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

9.What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

10.Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired.

11.Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!

12.What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

13.I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14.I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.

15.What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

16.How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

17. Learn sign language, it's very handy.

18.I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven't gotten a gig yet.

19.You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.

20.What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care.

21.Dry erase boards are remarkable.

22.Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

23.How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

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