A Dead Host... Not! (Ouran High School Host Club FanFic)

Chapter Seventeen ⎯⎯ Tamaki's Apprentice

'Oh god...' I thought.

"I'm an elementary fifth year, Shiro Takaoji! I want the host club king to take me on as his apprentice!" Shiro suddenly commands pointing his finger at Tamaki.

'Eh?!' I scream in my head.

*:*:*

He was only here for a few minutes and this kid has caused so much trouble!Including, Tamaki losing a guest, Mitsukuni and Haruhi getting insulted, and breaking a tea set causing more money to be put on Haruhi's dept!

Now I stare at Shiro who is standing in a cage that came from the ceiling. What a day...

"What's going on here?! Why's you put me in a cage all of a sudden?!" Shiro exclaimed.

"Yeah, where'd it come from? This is suppose to be a music room right?" Haruhi added sweat dropping.

"This not how you treat your loyal apprentice! Now let me out of this cage!" Shiro roared climbing up the bars of the cage.

"Not until you learn your lesson. I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about being a host, but I guess I was wrong." Tamaki sighed drinking tea.

"I am serious. Totally serious!" Shiro yelled from his spot in the cage.

Tamaki only continued to drink his tea, ignoring the caged boy.

"I want to learn how to learn how to make a woman happy..." Shiro muttered sliding to his knees, "I don't have much time...please won't you teach me? Your a host because you like girls. Because you want to see a smile on a girl's face. That's why you do it right?"

I look at the boy in pity.

"Please teach me how to be like you! Your a genius at it! You're the king!" Shiro shouted desperately.

'Here we go again...' I thought.

"Well you may be a brat, but I admire your desire to be a host, so I'll teach you!" Tamaki decided after hearing Shiro's pleads.

Shiro 'hm's in accomplishment.

"You know Shiro, you and I are very alike!" Tamaki pointed out smugly.

"You poor kid..." Haruhi and I whisper at the same time.

"Then you'll help me become a host that makes any woman happy?" Shiro asks with excitement.

"Of course! Making a woman happy is the soul purpose of being a host! But If this what you really want this Shiro, you have to figure out how to use the material you already have." Tamaki replies seriously.

"What does that mean?" Shiro mumbles in confusion.

"You see here in the Ouran Host Club, our policy is to meet the needs of our guest. For example is Tamamki who is the princely type," Kyoya began, "There is the strong silent type, the boy lolita type, the little devil type, the secretive and mysterious type, and the cool type. It's all about variety. And with that our group is complete, with the addition of Haruhi who is the natural type. Right now we have the perfect blend of characteristics, so it will be difficult to find one for Shiro."

"If you look at his age, he should be the boy lolita type, but Honey already has that covered." The twins say.

"Is he going to replace me?" Honey asks with a waterfall of tears falling down his face.

I pull out a handkerchief out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"Come on, is that all you got?" A familiar voice suddenly huffed.

A familiar cylinder podium moved up out of the ground with Renge on top of it.

"Sorry to interrupt gentlemen, but what's with the lackluster of character analysis?" Renge huffed with an unimpressed expression on her face, "I got to admit I'm kind of disappointed in you guys. I thought I taught you better."

"Alright Ms. Manager, how would you for Shiro into our collection of characters? He can't be the boy lolita because Honey already has that covered!" Tamaki stated holding up a crying Honey.

"You just don't get it do you?! Now listen up, there are plenty of girls out there who like younger boys or boy who have baby faces. These girls are known to be shota fans. Now shota can be a fairly broad category, so it's important to know that this genre can be broken down into different, smaller sub categories. For example, shota fans who are interest in the lolita boy they prefer a boy like Honey, but this little boy is different! If I were to choose a character for him...yes! He would be the naughty type with out a doubt!"

"The naughty type?" I hear Shiro mutter with slightly scared eyes.

The cage around Shiro was lifted and Renge blew her whistle she suddenly had around her neck.

"Now, to play the naughty type, you have to wear shorts you have to wear shorts. Ok!" Renege states pointing to the shorts Shiro was wearing, "you also have to have bumps and bruises!"

Kaoru and Hikaru appear next to Shiro and began to put makeup, draw, and place multiple band ads on to Shiro's skin.

"Run like a spoiled child! Make it reckless." Renge commands blowing her whistle yet again.

Shiro runs obediently around the room when a rope suddenly appears from under him and trips him.

"Now trip and make it big!" Renege says next with a whistle after Shiro falls to the ground.

"Are you okay little boy?" She whistles. "Now give them your catchphrase!" She commands.

"No big deal. T'was nothing." Shiro grumbles with a hard expression causing Renge to squeal.

"That was perfect! Absolutely perfect Shiro!" Renge squeals.

"Wow Renge! I didn't know you could be such a good coach!" Tamaki complemented her while slowly clapping.

Renge on replies with her signature laugh.

"Ugh! I've had enough of you people! This is stupid! This will never make her happy!" Shiro suddenly shouts in frustration.

'Her?' I think curiously.

"Come on Miso! Let's get out of here!" Shiro grumbles grabbing my wrist.

"Huh?!" I yelp as he began to drag me out of the club room, "why me?"

"Because you're the only one who would understand!" He shouts back at me.

"Eh?!" I exclaim as he slammed the club room doors closed.