CHAPTER- 8

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Shivalika came back to her home, Hopefully no one saw her in the state she is in right now or else it would have become havoc by now, blood stains on her dress, her dull face, Her body looked stiff, her face was void of any emotions, if her daughter sees her like this by any chance then she would never believe that she is her mother, Her mother is strong but right now the lady looks so helpless.

She went straight to her room and locked it from inside, she entered the bathroom and turned on the shower without taking off her clothes, she let herself drench in the water, closing her eyes she was comprehending what happened some hours ago.

She stood there for a while without making any noise, but then suddenly she fell on the floor, it was like her body doesn't have energy anymore, her eyes were still closed but her tears didn't stop, she cried.. she cried like before, she cried loudly, she wanted to loosen that burden from heart, she can't take it anymore, She is not that strong as she looks.

"AHHHH!!!!" She cried in pain, the pain which she was holding back, she was tired emotionally, It was unbearable for her, the pain she has been hiding from the world, from herself was again coming back.

"Why me?!!?"

"Why Always me?"

"I was in peace alone!! Why did he have to come again?"

"God!! Why do you have to do this to me? I never expected that I will meet him again!! Then how---" she cried more

"Itna kuch hone k baad Us se Najre kaise milati hu vo bhi sirf mujhe pata hain"

(How do I look into his eyes after all this, only I know that.)

"I can't face him! Again and again without remembering the past!"

Shivalika cried her heart out, she had suffered alot, 8 years ago.

Her body still trembles remembering those days, those people, those reactions.

Her hands were shivering, She rested the back of her head on the wall of the bathroom while She was crying uncontrollably with the shower was on, her heart was thumping loudly, her head felt heavy and her eyes were tired, her mind was almost numb.

She started feeling a current like sensation in her hands and legs, she rubbed her hands and legs hastily to lessen the pain but nothing was helping her, the pain was like a sharp metal which was continuously poking her skin.

"Ah, it's so painful! Mumma!!" She cried like a kid, she needed help, but she was not in the state of calling someone, she didn't have energy to stand, her body was cold, she rubbed her hands but that sharp pain was not leaving her alone, it happens every time she takes stress, this panic attack was making her unconscious, she knows after she get back to her normal self, she will forget all this, but right now it was hell for her.

The Past still hunts her, and It still hurts her.

"No Shivi! You have to be strong, breath in breath out" She told herself, she can't tolerate all those things again, she has to take care of herself.

She needs to be strong, if not for her than for her daughter.

She started doing what she said, breathing in and out for some minutes did relax him, though her hiccups didn't stop, her face was red and puffy but her heart beats were coming back to normal and it was a big win for her.

She had learnt taking control in such a situation but sometimes it goes out of control, after 8 years it's the first time she is in this state.

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