Beyond Repair (Min Yoongi) [UPDATED]

41. Reparations

Part of Yoongi wanted to attribute the quietness of his mind to the shower he'd taken as soon as he finished crying in Jimin's arms, but he had to admit, his talk with Jimin had helped. Even before he washed, his skin was no longer crawling as badly as before and he was starting to feel better about himself—at least enough to gain the courage to confront Hoseok about what had happened earlier in the evening. It was a good thing, too; the encounter had been eating at him since the moment he'd turned on his heel and left Hoseok alone in the bathroom and he didn't think he'd be able to sleep knowing Hoseok thought they were both upset with each other. Even if Hoseok was still upset, Yoongi was sure he could take whatever he had to say to him. It couldn't be anything worse than what he'd already been saying to himself.

All he had to do was figure out what the hell he could say to make things right and determine whether or not he could stand to hear whatever Hoseok would have to say to him after he apologized. A part of him was sure he could take it; Hoseok couldn't, after all, tell him anything he hadn't already been telling himself. But a larger part of him was terrified that if Hoseok confirmed all his fears by taking a hammer to the already broken pieces of his self-esteem, the shards would become too small and too sharp to pick up.

By luck or fate or maybe cruel irony, just as Yoongi started to lose his nerve, he saw Hoseok passing in the hall.

"Hoseok?" he said with his heart hammering in his chest.

Hoseok startled upon hearing his name called out in the otherwise silent house and liquid sloshed out of the cups he was carrying on a tray. Luckily, his reflexes were fast and he was able to steady the tray before any of the cups could fall of and break, but tea was now spilling over the sides of the tray and down his arms.

"Shit," Yoongi hissed, hobbling around Hoseok to get to the linen closet, from which he retrieved a towel and knelt down to sop up the tea on the floor. "I'm sorry," he rambled, "I didn't mean—I'll clean it up, I'll make more tea, I'm sorry—"

"It's okay," Hoseok said. "Yoongi, it's fine. Really, it's okay, you don't have to—shit, Yoongi, can you just..."

All at once, he set the tray on the floor to grab Yoongi's suddenly trembling hands, lacing their sticky fingers together. Yoongi fell silent.

"It's okay," Hoseok said again. "It wasn't your fault, it was an accident." With that, he let go of Yoongi's hands and started cleaning up his arms, his clothes, and the dishes to stop Yoongi's fretting.

Yoongi took a controlled breath, hastily scrubbing the panicked tears from his eyes before Hoseok could look up and comment on them. He straightened back up and awkwardly stood off to the side, leaning more on the wall than his cane, waiting until Hoseok finished drying off, putting the dishes back on the tray, and blotting the spilled tea out of the rug.

"Did you need something?" Hoseok asked as he stood up again.

"Uh...what?"

"Well, unless you just said my name to make me spill..." Hoseok trailed off with a halfhearted chuckle, looking expectantly at Yoongi.

"Oh," Yoongi realized, suddenly remembering that he had no idea what to say. "R-right. I did, um—I do have something to, to tell you. I just—I wanted to say..." He nervously squeezed the hem of his sleep shirt with his clean hand as he tried to find the words. "I wanted to say I...I'm sorry. For earl-earlier. I didn't...I didn't mean to yell at you, i-it just sort of...slipped out. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Hoseok said patiently. "I get it. I would've been pissed, too. Let's just...try to forget the bathroom thing, okay?"

Yoongi blinked. "Really?"