Beyond Repair (Min Yoongi) [UPDATED]

40. And Know I'll Be Here Holding You

Jimin sat on the bed he never used anymore, watching Yoongi cross the room again and again and again. He had thought Yoongi might be more comfortable talking in their bedroom, so he had helped Yoongi up the stairs and sat him down on the bed, only for Yoongi to stand back up right after Jimin took his turn. Jimin had thought Yoongi was merely collecting his thoughts in preparation for whatever he wanted to say, but he was starting to doubt it.

Their conversation had started out smoothly. Jimin had admitted to avoiding sleep and neglecting his hunger cues, neither of which had been a surprise to Yoongi. The fact that Yoongi had known about Jimin's struggles before Jimin spoke them aloud shouldn't have made him feel guilty, but it had.

Probably because it had taken him so long for him to terms with the fact that they were struggles, at all, but that was neither here nor there.

Little had Jimin known at the start of this conversation, Yoongi apparently wanted no part in confessing his own struggles. All he seemed to want to do was pace up and down the length of the room, constantly either biting his nails or wrapping the arm not holding his cane around his middle whilst murmuring under his breath, just softly enough that Jimin couldn't make out any real words. And while Jimin was sure there was little that Yoongi could say of which Jimin didn't already have an inkling, he wasn't happy that Yoongi was trying to avoid sharing his piece.

Jimin could tell by the way Yoongi's frame was trembling that he was in some kind of physical pain, though from which injury (or injuries), Jimin wasn't sure. All he knew was that he was exhausted from just watching Yoongi for the past ten-plus minutes. He couldn't let this go on much longer.

"Hey," Jimin said when he'd had enough, the single word freezing Yoongi in his tracks. Yoongi didn't turn toward him but fell still and silent, so Jimin trusted he was listening. "I've been quiet this whole time because I thought you were eventually going to talk to me on your own, but now I see that isn't going to happen unless I ask you to. So, this is me asking."

Yoongi didn't say a word—didn't so much as look at him—and for a split second, Jimin thought Yoongi was deliberately ignoring him. Then, he heard a slight sniffle, and a pang of sympathy put out the spark of annoyance that had originally crossed his mind. He got up meet Yoongi where he stood and turned him around, leading him toward the bed with an arm around his shoulders, pulling him down to sit. Only once Yoongi was close enough for Jimin to see the finer details of his face did Jimin notice the unshed tears glistening in Yoongi's eyes.

"Hey," Jimin said again, brushing Yoongi's hair out of his eyes and cupping his jaw, "talk to me. Tell me what's going on, beautiful."

He thought he'd said something right when Yoongi flushed a deep, rosy pink and turned to try and hide his face in his shoulder. To Jimin's surprise and disappointment, however, by the time he had pulled Yoongi's arm down to look at him properly, the almost-smile had faded into a scowl and the tears had spilled over. Maybe Jimin said something wrong.

"Honey," Jimin said, "something's bothering you. What is it?"

Yoongi was quiet for a few more seconds as if mentally debating whether or not to say anything at all, but then he blurted, "Are the others mad at me?"

"What?" Jimin exclaimed before he could remember to keep his voice calm. He shook his head, hoping Yoongi wouldn't read too much into the reaction and worry himself further. "No, not at all. I mean, Hoseok probably still isn't happy about earlier, but I doubt he's actually angry at you, and the others definitely aren't.Why would you think that?"

"It's just...Namjoon said it was fine...but, well, these talks, there has to be something wrong, right? A-and I've been trying to act like I'm fine so things would—might go back to normal, but instead I had a fight with Hoseok, and Taehyung has been avoiding me, and, and Jungkook has been lying, and I don't know what he's been lying about but I-I can, I can just tell there's something he's not telling me because he won't even look me in the face anymore, and Seokjin is—"