The Love Dodecahedron Duology (Book 1 + 2)

Chapter 7

"Fashion.... And....................................... crunchy laptops. The inevitability catalystility for paranoidity."

Maya awoke to a Fudging Loud Freaking Screem. Brushing her silky, sewer rat coloured, mulberry flavoured locks of silky x2 silkiness to the side of her face, marking her gradual descent to emo-ness, she lowered her 20cm lashes as her uwuly pinkily bespectacled face turned to the source of the sound.

"RINGDINGDONGDINGDINGDONGDINGDIGGIDINGDIGGIDINGDING RINGDINGDONGDINGDINGDONGDINGDIGGIDINGDIGGIDINGDING," something sang.

Then, she realised that, really, the toe-curling melody was actually from her favourite song, RINGDINGDONGDINGDINGDONGDINGDIGGIDINGDIGGIDINGDING RINGDINGDONGDINGDINGDONGDINGDIGGIDINGDIGGIDINGDING from SHINs.

"Rawr," Maya said as she once again plugged those TXT earbud in, blocking out all organic vegan sounds and passionately damaging her right tympanic membrane and cochlea.

As she repeated those RINGDINGDONGDINGDINGDONGDINGDIGGIDINGDIGGIDINGDING verses, which she deemed even better than that one book that included fanatical sentient door smut, she failed to hear the equally fanatical but rather unhinged screams of the unhinged people around her, where her limited servings of medium rare sanity were a "so last week" concept, and logic had taken a small extended several year vacation to Hogwarts: A History. Bless her TXT OxygenPod Pro Max Expert Professional Ultra-max Ultra 79s.

"Ahah, ahah..." The Elizabreath sang, making it sound like a couple dozen octaves higher version of Into The Unknown. She was supposed to be analysing the cultural and emotional significance of Meggen from In My Bloody Blood Pipes saying "dujuan thats not your bike", but she had long given up after realising that, without Boomquifa, THERE WAS NO EMOTION SIGNIFICANT OF ANYTHING!!! 🙅😔................. 🦧.

So, she resorted to screeching at alarming frequencies, a coping strategy she had recently learnt from Chardonnay, who was fervently contributing to their artistic cacophony. Of course, she kept her lips deliciously puckered like her spirit animal, a gorilla, in case Boomquiffy came and saw that her Kardasian branded lipper grippers were actually off branded and from China, as she could not afford it (she had previously spent all her money on a small private jet from Temu, however, it did not work, and the company refused to give her any refunds as the wings were already eaten.)

Despite slowly disintegrating the older than ur mom windows, most likely placed in the walls of the Andrea building around the time Kim Kardashingyum's great great grandmother first said "shat", they had an excuse, because they were very obviously concerned about Maya's visions.

Did they look like they had the mental resources to investigate? Did they look like they had a free braincell in their head cavities that wasn't busy struggling to maintain bodily funcshuns such as blinking????!?!?!!?!?!!! And plus, The Elizabreath's unpaid child labour cell was already showing signs of aging and amotivation ("bro i should've retired 5 decades ago leave me out of this"), and now, her eyelids oscillated every time she blinked, which was every 2 hours, and now, she had to pour moistened Cheeto dust on them every 5 seconds to prevent them from prunifying ahhH!!!!!!!!!!!

The Elizabreath, Tikki, Chardonnay, Clarence and Grogda Asian squatted on the floor dutifully, deep in shallow contemplation, except for Chardonnay, because he didn't know what contemplation meant.

Tikki, a mhajhick gworl with a tendency toward unexplicable identity crisis, found herself at the centre of the storm, and the Sorcle, cuz the others had all moved simultaneously to sacrifice her to the Golden Potato Man. After a few hours of criminal offensive side eyes, Chardonnay's self resolve crumbled.

"HOW COULD YOU BE VEGAN"

"im not vegan", Tikki pointed out, raising her index finger to the roof and materialising thick framed round Asian-like glasses on her facial features.