Blooms and Butterflies (Part 1)

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 Daisy had never been one to frequent balls. Usually, she found them to be rather overwhelming, often leading her to sneak off to some quiet corner to be alone. However, since she had turned sixteen, her parents were urging her to attend more and more social events in hopes that she would find herself a man that would be willing to take her as a wife. Daisy had never even been courted by anyone at that point, so the idea of marriage remained quite foreign and distant to her. Of course, she had to attract a man's attention first, and that was easier said than done.

She had spent a long time getting ready, spending a large portion of it just picking out a dress. After much frantic dressing and undressing, she finally settled on a light pink gown with off the shoulder plumed sleeves, embellished with little blue and white flowers along the top of the skirt. Part of her worried that it appeared too childish, but at the same time, it felt odd to try to dress older than she actually was, especially if she was seeking out a future husband. After many failed attempts at complex updos, she opted to leave her golden brown hair hanging down in loose curls with just a silver hairpin to keep the front strands out of her face. All her other accessories were silver as well, from her heels to her earring studs. She had a silver bracelet to match, but that was the trinket she had turned in with her invitation acceptance, so she would not get it until she arrived at the Caerhayes castle. The bracelet was an old family heirloom, passed down many generations from mother to daughter until it finally reached her. Sometimes, she liked to imagine all the places it had been, how many balls and events it had seen with her mother and grandmother and great grandmother and all the ladies before her. There was something comforting about it, as if all her ancestors were with her whenever she wore it, but at the same time, it made her feel even stronger pressure to keep up with their expectations. After all, they had all gotten married and had daughters to pass the bracelet to, so it was hard not to expect the same from herself.

Daisy shifted in her seat, trying and failing to take her mind off of the reason why she was there tonight. Most of her friends had gone out with one, if not several men by now, so why couldn't she? Was it because she wasn't pretty enough? Maybe her cheeks were too round or her hair was too thin or her nose was too big. Or was it because she wasn't as talented as the others? She couldn't carry a tune to save her life and her sewing skills could likely be topped by any young boy who had never held a needle in his life. Or was it because she was too quiet and reserved? She tended to avoid large social events and often froze up when trying to talk to new people. Daisy frowned to herself, scuffing her shoe against the carriage floor. It was her own fault for not engaging with more people and from shying away from interactions. Why couldn't she just talk like a normal person without feeling awkward or uncomfortable? She was the one making it harder for herself, so she had no one else to blame. Sucking in a breath, she sat up straighter in her seat. Tonight would be different. Tonight, she would conquer her social anxiety and be the one to approach and introduce herself to people. It couldn't be that difficult, right? But already, just the thought of it was making her so squeamish that she was tempted to jump out of the carriage and run back home like a child. No, she asserted, she had to grow up and face her fear whether she liked it or not.

Looking out the window, she peered out at the elegant gardens that surrounded the castle. Even as she sped by, the vibrant flowers that dappled the dark green bushes caught her eye, appearing like little splashes of color on a dark evening canvas. She called out to the carriage driver to stop for a moment, wanting to get a better look at the blossoms and take some time to appreciate their beauty. Stepping out of the carriage with the help of her footman, Daisy made her way to one bush with camellia flowers of varying shades of red and purple. Every single flower looked as if it was hand sculpted by a master artist, yet each was unique in its own way. Her fingers traced over the delicate petals, wondering how something so beautiful could be grown. There had to be some kind of secret to maintaining such a lovely garden. If it was magic, she would not even be surprised. Walking along the stone pathways, she felt breathless staring at all the flawless blossoms. How could this place be real? And if it was, how was it that she was allowed in? Such a perfect place could only have room for perfect people, she supposed. She looked down, fiddling with the skirt of her dress. What was she doing here? She didn't belong here. If no one ever noticed her before, why would anyone now, especially in a place as regal and exclusive as the Caerhayes castle? A lump formed in her throat and she felt frozen in place, unable to take another step forward nor turn back toward the carriage. She couldn't do it. She couldn't.

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